“汤姆”
怀疑是思想的绝望;绝望是人格的怀疑……怀疑和绝望……属于完全不同的领域;灵魂的不同侧面都在运动…绝望是整个人格的表现，怀疑只是思想的表现。-
Søren克尔凯郭尔
|
“汤姆”
我记忆中第一次真正的强迫症经历发生在我大约6岁的时候。这件事发生在一天早上，我在上学的路上做着白日梦。出于某种原因，上帝的话题一直在我的脑海里(我的家人都是虔诚的基督徒);我在想我们在主日学校总是说我们爱上帝。突然，一个念头出现在我的脑海里，像是一个小小的声音在鼓励我说出“我恨上帝”这几个字。所以我想我脑子里的那句话，“我恨上帝”。我立刻变得焦虑起来，因为我知道我并不恨上帝，那些话只是不由自主地突然出现在我的脑海里。我试着摆脱它，但那句话一直在我耳边响起:“我恨上帝”，我恨上帝。我开始变得非常焦虑，因为我在想:“住手!我为什么这么说? I love God!" So I forced myself to say in my head "No, I love God", but it didn't help. The words just kept coming and coming and coming, "I hate God", "I hate God". I was fighting back the tears because I was really scared that God could hear me. When I got to school I was really shaken from what had happened. I tried to forget it, but for the rest of the day it was stuck like a splinter in the corner of my mind. When I got home I ran to my mother and tried to explain to her what had happened. I was in tears I was so upset. I tried to explain to her that I couldn't stop saying "I hate God" and was trying to counteract it by saying "I love God". I can still see the perplexed look on her face as she regarded me. I could tell that she knew I was in pain but had no idea why. She told me that it was alright and that I shouldn't worry about it. She comforted me by saying "I know you love God, it's okay". Even though I was only 6 years old, I had a feeling that I was being placated (obviously not in a way I could articulate then, but in retrospect, I think I knew). That's where my self-esteem took a down-turn as I became increasingly aware of how different I was.
直到16年后，我在大学四年级时才被诊断出患有强迫症。我想，如果我能早点被诊断出来，这中间的16年就不会这么痛苦了。当一个孩子的思想已经破碎(你和孩子都没有意识到)，你怎么能把他/她培养成一个健康、适应能力强的人呢?你试着和孩子讲道理，理解他/她的现实，但他/她的反应就是没有意义。如果我能学会区分我的想法中合理的和不合理的，我想我的很多痛苦都是可以避免的(或者至少可以减轻)。但这就是生活，你现在能做的就是努力治愈自己。我花了两年的时间进行心理治疗和药物治疗才终于摆脱困境。现在我对强迫症的终点和起点有了更好的了解。在我看来，每个人都有天赋，也有伤口。生活中有许多挑战，其中之一就是要找到这样的人，他们看到你的天赋时不会一味奉承你，看到你的伤口时也不会逃避。 OCD is a really tiring, frustrating, and painful wound, but it's just a wound. Try to push it aside and embrace your gift, you'd be surprised what can heal with effort over time.
我不是医生、治疗师或治疗乳糜泻的专业人士。除非另有说明，本网站仅反映我的经验和观点。除了我自己的以外，我不对我所指向的链接内容或HealthyPlace.com上的任何内容或广告负责。
在做出任何关于治疗选择或改变治疗的决定之前，一定要咨询受过训练的心理健康专业人员。在没有咨询你的医生、临床医生或治疗师之前，永远不要停止治疗或药物。
怀疑和其他障碍的内容
版权所有©1996-2009
下一个:希拉里的
～强迫症图书馆文章
～所有与强迫症相关的文章
APA的参考
格拉克，S.(2009, 1月9日)。“汤姆”,HealthyPlace。检索于2023年1月20日，从//www.5wetown.com/ocd-related-disorders/articles/tom
