双相情感障碍和神隐:这是一个大问题

结婚30年了。丈夫是今年确诊的。他不跟我来往，我们住在同一所房子里。已经10年了。我只是在照顾家里的事情和孩子，我想一旦孩子们都离开了家，我们要么分开，要么像以前一样住在一起。服药后他好多了，但他还是会消失。我提醒他，无论你愿不愿意，我都还在这里。

我男朋友有躁郁症，在自我治疗。他一直在把网上买的东西以液体形式放在舌头下面。这并不理想，但它实际上似乎对他有帮助，我当时正处于如果它有帮助我就会接受的地步。整个夏天，他开始陷入旧的消极行为，当他狂躁时，他变得刻薄刻薄。他对我的一言一行都挑刺，批评我，骂我。几周前，他开始去精神科医生那里接受实验性氯胺酮治疗。在此之前，他痴迷于减肥和禁食。他减了20磅，开始每周一次，每次禁食48到72小时。他总是以食物羞辱我，试图让我达到他的节食水平。然后他在混合物中加入氯胺酮，一直令人无法忍受和刻薄。 Last week I picked him up from an appointment and he picked a fight with me, said a bunch of hurtful things and broke up with me. I went to his house and gathered my things and left. We didn’t talk all week. He sent me a message that night reminding of an obligation I had in the morning. I didn’t respond and I didn’t make the obligation either. I ran into him a few times that week at work (yes we work at the same company so there’s that) the first time we shared an elevator and made pleasant small talk. After I felt ashamed for even being nice to him after how he treated me so the next few times I just ignored him altogether. He messaged me on fb that night and said he missed me and wished I’d come over for some jalapeño poppers he’d made. Then the next day we chatted and he seemed like he was having regret and was still even considering coming on my trip for my bday in October. I tried to reach out the next day but he ignored me. Then I had asked about a couple of things I forgot to grab from his house, I said I’d leave my car unlocked and he could just leave them in my car at work l. That way if he didn’t want to talk he didn’t have to. Days went by and nothing. No returner stuff and no response. I waited a few more days to give him space then I messaged him again. This time on fb messenger so I could at least see if he was reading my messages. I said if he needs more time let me know. If it’s done and he doesn’t want to talk again at least let me know and return my things but either way please don’t leave me hanging. I’ve done nothing to deserve that. Read the message but no response. Even fb says we are still “in a relationship” he hasn’t told his family whom I’m close to and I wanted to give him the opportunity to either figure it out and or tell them first. He has had a history or being in w relationship and then ghosting her. I don’t know what this is or what he wants. I feel like I’m going crazy and not sure what to do

我已经被完全忽视了3个月了。阅读这篇文章和每个人的评论对我真的很有帮助。结婚14年后离婚。痛苦的。谢谢大家。

我需要帮助。我分不清我男朋友是躁郁症还是混蛋。我们已经三个月没约会了。刚开始的几个星期，他真的很好，没日没夜地给我发短信。总是想要见面，然后突然一个月后，他消失了5天，然后没有任何解释就回来了。我原谅了他，我们向前走了，但恰好一个月后，他又缠着我了。他会表现出重大情绪波动的迹象。他每24-36小时吃一次。他几乎每天都做噩梦。我们没有任何问题，也没有任何争吵。 Hes calling me baby one day and then a few hours later he just disappeared. Its been 10 days and ive heard nothing back from him. He posted once on his snapchat story and he knows i can see it but he didnt even care. Idk if im making excuses for him or this is really his disorder.

我曾经和一个患有躁郁症的人同居过。我们在一起4年了，感情就像坐过山车一样。她是我遇到的第一个患有躁郁症的人，所以有一段时间我一无所知。我只是在交往几个月后才开始意识到她的情绪不稳定，因为她真的很擅长隐藏自己的情绪。后来我开始注意到她的狂躁充满活力的发作和抑郁发作，但我一直认为这是她性格的一部分，因为她过去与家庭的创伤和过去与前任的关系。她曾告诉我，她与父母的关系破裂是她在18岁时搬出去的原因。我认识她的时候她20岁，我21岁，那时我有虔诚的父母，我想逃离他们，所以我抓住机会和她住在一起。我爱上了她，因为她甜美、可爱、善良和真诚的性格。我总是忽略了她野蛮的一面，那就是易怒地恶语伤人、控制欲强、充满仇恨和充满不必要的抱怨。在我们同居的半年里，我意识到她的情感性格是一种精神疾病，双相情感障碍。 Upon realizing this i was already emotionally invested and had told her that i would try to always be commited to understanding her bipolar disorder. Our whole relationship has been respectfully great. We had spent almost everyday together working multiple jobs for the past 4 years to make ends meet paying the bills and rent. We would always get stoned and go on dinner dates. She would go out of her way to do things for me as she was full of surprises on our monthsaries. She would always assure our relationship and would tell me I was the one she loved the most. She was quite responsible always cooking,cleaning, doing laundry, etc. I've seen her struggle with her depressive epsiodes and i've always comforted her with hugs and kisses. Like any other relationships we've had really bad arguments, but we both maturely always manage to come to an agreement and accept our faults. 4 years into the relationship i really believed that she was a person that i could have a future with and eventually get married. Then came a turning point to our relationship. We both started working at a marijuana grow op and she had started smoking excessively and drank energy drinks every single day for a month straight. I believe the high amount of caffeine worsened her anxiety and ability to cope through her mood swings. She had also met a new co-worker that i have noticed they have gotten uncomfortably close and his intentions were clear that he likes her. I've confronted her about and she claims that they are nothing more than friends. I've even caught her texting him it was nothing sexual but she tried to hide his phone number by saving it under her girlfriend's name. Her excuse was so i dont get butt hurt about it. After work she would be emotionally exhausted and she slowly started to drift away from me. I also had a gut feeling that she caught feelings for this other coworker of ours. We both ended up getting laid off from the job and thats when she was a complete emotiotional wreck. Out of nowhere, out of the god damn blue she was saying she needed space to be alone and that she was feeling alot of pain and hurt inside and she could no longer give me love and that its not my fault. She brought up how she wanted to move back with her abusive parents and that we give eachother space for a month for her to better herself, which made no sense at all. I have been the one supporting her and basically being her therapist for 4 years. Anyways she proposed that we give eachother space for a month and not talk to eachother at all and after she gets to decide if she was better enough to keep our relationship going. I had a gut feeling that she wanted to GHOST me after that one month. So i confronted her about this "space" she wanted and what her intentions were and she literally told me that our relationship is coming to an end. Im 25 years old now , scratching my head asking myself what did i get myself into.

在一集里，人们会欣赏善意和/或鼓励的信息，而在另一集里/抽离/被封闭吗?即使他们可能不回应?

你好所有的,
它永远不会结束。它会一次又一次地发生。
不要在他们的名字里放任何钱，尽快离开
它从未停止

我和我的伴侣在一起8个月，一切都很好，每天晚上都在一起，我们一起买礼物，我们在一起很好，说我是他最好的搭档。我们很少争吵，就像我们一样然后他最近有很多废话失去了房子，猫不得不去他爸爸家，工作很辛苦然后他撞了他的卡车所有的压力现在他崩溃了悲伤的抑郁崩溃。他居然喜欢上了另一个人。我们不住在一起，但自从他生病以来，我们再也见不到对方，也没有他的消息。震惊，一切都很好，就像他把他看到的一切都怪在我身上，他的朋友，家人，而不是我。上个月很难熬，我哭得睡不着觉，他把我推开。我每周都发想你的卡片，甚至每周都发一次，去给他扔糖果袋给他的邻居，甚至连一句谢谢都没有得到。然后惊讶的是，我们一周前见过面，可以看到他不是我新认识的那个人。但他买了新卡车，做了头发，新衣服。然后说也许我们可以成为朋友，我说不，我不想那样。 I cried so much when I got home. Was that low surprised I thought this it im sick of this. I've stood by you now this. I was at one point thought my life ended told him in a text im done I dint get a reply. Not even next day. For all he new I could be dead on floor. He replied back im ill I don't need all this crap I said all about you. WHAT has happened to this guy. what do I do driving me mad week now no contact ???? I think he got Bioplar

我和一个患有躁郁症的人谈了一年的恋爱。在这段时间里，我目睹并支持了一些最糟糕的高潮和低谷，他毫不含糊地信任我。然而，这一次，随着一段插曲的酝酿，他决定对我对自己的评论表示个人冒犯，并在某种程度上完全曲解了这是对他的批评。我花了几个小时的时间试图支持“安心”，并且一直很坚决，但这还不够。结果，我受到了非常恶毒的骂名，到哪里都要挡住我。非常令人担忧的行为，不知道他是否还好等等，但我也相信我们都需要休息一下。有点希望在某个时候他会解除封锁，我们可以讨论，但也为最坏的情况做准备。很难过，因为我们如此惊人地联系在一起，彼此深爱着对方，但忍不住想，也许这是最好的。很明显我不是他需要的否则我们就不会有今天的成就

这真的很有帮助，发现其他人都在同一条船上。我断断续续的异地恋已经17年了。我13岁的时候开始和这个人聊天。他的童年受到了伤害，15岁时他的母亲死于癌症，不久之后他的父亲自杀了，在接下来的几年里，他的继父对他进行了虐待。他已经彻底崩溃了。在我们十几岁的时候，我们每天晚上都要聊上几个小时，互相依靠。23岁时，我父亲被诊断出癌症晚期，当我告诉我的男人时，他无法忍受痛苦，消失了5年。我没能找到他。最终，我从英国搬到了加拿大。有一天，当我去找他的时候，我发现他以前的社交媒体账户已经重新激活了。我们联系上了，就像什么都没发生过一样。 He told me he was diagnosed with bipolar shortly after my dad passed away in 2014 and was in a bad way, but he had kept an eye on my progress and thought I hated him for leaving me, so he thought I’d be better off. We fell back in love and he made many attempts to visit me in Canada although his anxiety and mentality stopped him every time. After a year, I decided to fly back to England to bring him back with me. We both quit our jobs and decided to start a fresh together in Canada even though this was during the pandemic.
自从回到英国，我们还没有在一起。他有过多次抑郁症发作，在过去的6个月里，他约6次“神隐”了我，有时是因为感染了covid，有时是因为他祖父去世。每次他走的时候我都很伤心，因为我总是担心他不会回来。他已经失踪10天了。不是最长的时间，但在这里没有收入，需要回家度过这些艰难时期是一种挣扎。他是我一生的挚爱，当一切都很美好的时候，我们会无比坚强和相爱。但这真的对我的心理健康造成了损害。我试着去理解他，我从来没有让他觉得我会考虑放弃他。我们比任何人都了解对方，对我来说重要的是，他明白他应该像其他人一样得到爱和幸福。但我的心与所有患有这种疾病的人同在。 There is someone out there who will prioritise you. You just need to let them help you.

我的故事和他难过时的消失很相似。他在喝了两大杯酒后，想象中出现了轻微的/完全不合逻辑的行为，半夜开车回家。一整晚和第二天都不接电话。退回我们一起买的东西。我有很多戏剧性、痛苦和不成熟的例子。我们只约会了4个月，但他在心情不好的时候是如此的可爱和甜蜜。我从不被允许有自己的情绪/他无法处理，与他相比，这些情绪都是温和的。那天晚上我们爬上床的时候，他狠狠地侮辱了我。我整夜没睡，眼泪汪汪，压力重重。我求他道歉，他坚持说他是认真的，而且“没有那么糟糕”。 The entire 4 months have been either extremely loving or extremely irritable. That day I made him leave his key and take his things out of my house. All he had to do was acknowledge my pain. I just don’t understand it but it’s on par with the whole way the relationship has been. This happened yesterday and although I feel relief I still love him and want to make sure he’s ok. He is ignoring my texts and phone calls completely. I’m sure by now I’m “against him” like “everybody else”. I know in my heart I did the right thing because I’m recovering from a car accident and I also have my own mental health to worry about. I know my life with him would be very hard. It’s all so painful. I hope he sticks with his new therapist and that we can work it out one day. If anyone would like to answer this post I would really appreciate it. He’s such a tortured soul who literally does not know how to have a respectful, adult conversation geared towards resolution. Instead he just escalates. I feel my own mental health regressing.

谢谢大家分享你的故事。在我的生活中，有几个人患有躁郁症。服用药物后，它们似乎可以正常工作。我有一个60年前的朋友。我们已经很接近了。大约5年前，我注意到她行为古怪。我们不住在同一个城市，所以当她来看我们时，这一点就变得很明显了。没有过滤和界限的行为是相当令人震惊的。我不会说得太详细，但在与她的家人交谈5天后，很多事情都浮出水面了。她说她没带足够的药。 Whether or not that was true she had people feeling like babysitters before she went home. She would have periods of normalcy. For a time afterwards she lived with her daughter and that not working well for the household she went to a half way house of a sort where meds would be sorted. Then she finally got her own place. Our friendship has been through many phases. I decided to move nearby because I had not recognized patterns to her behavior changing and getting worse over time. We had many conversations where she seemed herself, doing the right thing to get help. Now that I am here, after and for many months she has cut me out of her life. I was hurt at first even angry. I am approaching indifferent as I have decided to cut ties with her. It is too much of a roller coaster. Also my husband and I will be moving back to where we came from. I read somewhere a statement that addresses this issue very well. Having bipolar doesn’t give you a free pass to treat friends with no respect. So we move on. She is on meds, found a new therapist and has a life even in the pandemic. The difference is I am not in it, but it is my choice not hers.

哇!所有这些都是令人难以置信的深刻见解，至少可以说是非常清晰的。最近开始约会一个童年的爱人，我知道近30年了，直到几个月前才知道血压。同居时消失已经持续了3个多星期了，考虑到一天中非常有意的日常交流突然中断，在很多层面上都引起了危险信号。在阅读了所有这些帖子/经历，努力教育自己之后，我不确定这是我想要的生活，在一段持续的关系中，我想知道和担心是否一切都好，因为我必须考虑我自己的精神/情感健康状态和自尊.....

我希望她不来找我。自夏天以来，我一直在和一个患有双相情感障碍和强迫症的人谈恋爱，几乎一直都在试图摆脱这段关系。我一开始就意识到这是个错误，但她每次都设法用威胁、恐惧、义务和内疚让我陷入其中，坦白地说，她吓坏了我。我试着跟她坦诚地谈过，结果她恐慌症发作了。我试过休息一下，给她点空间，但她觉得自己被抛弃了，最后进了急诊室。我希望我能逃离这一切。如果她不知道我住在哪里我早就发个短信，用懦夫的方式离开了，但我不能冒险让她出现，让她发疯，我也不希望她的生活支离破碎，或者她伤害了自己。

我交往了三年半的女友对我避而不见。她大约20年前被诊断为BPD-1。我相信她也处理双相情感障碍或双相情感障碍的“特征”。我不认为她意识到这种障碍的精神病方面，她遭受了这种痛苦。她的大脑创造了交替的现实和错觉。她屏蔽或压抑压力，焦虑诱发的话题或经历。我们都有孩子，决定试着住在一起。在迈出这一步之前，我们讨论过，如果家庭融合不成功，无论出于什么原因，她会搬出去，我们继续我们的关系。因为养育方式和教育理念的不同，我们没有成功。我们讨论过对孩子们来说最好的事情就是我们分开住。 We were in agreement and she said she’d start looking for a new place. After about a month, she hadn’t looked for a place so I asked her about it. She told me that we didn’t have any such conversation. I asked her every couple of months if she was looking and she began changing the topic or ignoring my question all together. There were several heated exchanges after that and finally two years later and more heated exchanges, she looked for and bought a house. She tried to get me to ask her to stay at every step in the process but I held firm. This was in the best interest of our children after all. Once the deal was done, we talked again about how we would continue our relationship. I pointed out that it wouldn’t be too different since her new house was only 6 blocks away. Everything went downhill from there. When it was time to pack and move her belongings she said she was too overwhelmed. I ended up packing and moving all of her stuff. As the move was nearing completion, I was dropping a few things off and noticed that she hadn’t been to bed in many days and was manic. A day later I asked if she was manic and if she should make an appointment with her doctor. She told me that she wasn’t manic. I had moved the last of her things. I hadn’t heard from her in about a week and her mail was piling up. I texted her and asked if I could bring her mail to her. She responded that I was not to call, text, come to her house, or go to her daughter’s school or she would call the police and file for a restraining order against me. I checked in periodically and the threats started coming from her girlfriend. She accused me of stalking and harassing her friend. One of her psychoses is paranoid delusions, the belief that someone is out to get her, wants to cause her harm, or is stalking her, etc. She has vilified me and developed alternate realities to cope with her feelings of rejection, despite my letting her know that I wasn’t rejecting her and that I wanted her in my life forever. I told her we’d live like this for a few years and then when the children are older, I would marry her. Her response was that I was trying to manipulate her. My best guess is that her manic episode triggered her psychosis. She believes the alternate realities her brain has created to cope and has ghosted me ever since. It’s been 9 months and she hasn’t contacted me in any way. I want to reach out and suggest that she talk to her doctor about psychosis but I’m afraid she’ll follow through with her threats and call the police. I don’t believe she will ever realize any of this on her own and I’ve most likely been ghosted for life. She didn’t formally break up with me and the last I heard from her we had a wonderful future ahead of us, then nothing. It is very painful to have the woman I love go from a bright future together to all of this with no contact in 9 months with not so much as an explanation.

有没有人知道当他们“鬼影”你的时候，他们还会在社交媒体上发帖吗?我和一个女人经历了一个躁狂阶段，她不再和我说话，并在FB上屏蔽了她的帖子。我不知道发生了什么事。所以我和一些共同的朋友联系了一下，这就是为什么我发现她仍然在这里和那里发帖，主要是关于她的孩子。我提到在我试图弄清楚到底发生了什么事的时候，我在短信中知道她在这么做。我提到了她藏起来的一个帖子。接下来我所知道的就是她屏蔽了几个共同的朋友，这样他们就看不到我的帖子了。三周后，她终于举起了积木。然后，她又沉默了两个星期，又沉默了!(这正常吗?)她为自己的古怪表示抱歉，她正在努力)不管怎样，我也想知道这样做并仍然发帖是否常见?