陷入虐待关系?
陷入虐待关系的人听着,“你比这好太多了!”你为什么要留下来?”我知道我比我的经验更好。我知道我不应该被那样对待。然而,当有人向我指出这一点时,我想坚持下去,争取留下来。
我知道我比他对待我的方式要好,但我认为虐待我的人也比他的行为好。我认为我们同样受伤。我以为我们都被困在一段被虐待的关系中。
我以为我们是这两个陷入虐待关系
我想他一定非常痛苦,才能够用这种方式伤害我——对我说那些话,假装他说的话是认真的,用他的手来支持他的话。我以为他和我都很痛苦。
我应该得到更好的治疗,但他和我是一样的。他应该有一个寻找幸福的机会。他值得爱、善良、尊重……真爱。他应得的我的爱(尽管对我不敬和憎恨)因为我们是一样的.
当有人告诉我我比他强的时候,我像一条猛蛇一样退缩了。这种逻辑毫无道理。我怎么会比我等于什么?他们,那些鼓励我离开施虐者的人,变成了我的敌人.
当我开始向我的新敌人讲述施虐者的伟大之处时,我们蜜月时期的美好回忆占据了上风。我对自己说为什么我留下就像我试图说服我的敌人一样我的逻辑和敌人的不一样。我所做的对我来说完全有意义。放弃他就意味着放弃我。
我是一个被虐待关系困住的好人
我是忠诚的,有爱心的,愿意坚强地度过难关。我能看到施虐者的善良。我不仅能活下来,而且把他拉上来从他内心的恨海中。我欠因为我答应过他永远不会离开他。我承诺去爱,去尊重,去珍惜;不使用,转身,嘲笑。
我的忠诚感和我和他平等的信念(这两个都是我对他的忠诚的影响)洗脑)让我陷入了我们虐待的关系中。我留下是因为我觉得离开意味着背叛我是谁.虐待我的人已经在很多方面背叛了我。我不想背叛我自己所以我对他一直很忠诚。囿于我是谁和…一样多他对我做了什么在美国,我被一段虐待性的关系困住了将近20年。
当我陷入虐待关系时,我没有听清楚
在我结婚的日子里,我似乎和我的家人和朋友说着不同的语言。当他们告诉我,我应该得到更好的,并提供了一条出路时,我没有听到他们想让我听到的。我听到“我已经认不出你了。你真是一团糟。你需要帮助。你做错了。你一定有毛病。”
我保证他们不是这个意思。然而,我想象自己今天会对家暴受害者说同样善意的话。我想让他们看到我眼中的他们。但我不会说他们的语言。我是他们的敌人。
APA的参考
(2012年3月23日)。陷入虐待关系?, HealthyPlace。2023年2月1日,从//www.5wetown.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships/2012/03/trapped-in-an-abusive-relationship获取
作者:凯莉·乔·霍利
嗨Keniada,
我为你迈出了离开虐待关系的第一步而鼓掌!我鼓励你阅读博客以获得建议和支持,但也要联系专业人士。这里有一些资源可以帮助你开始这个过程://www.5wetown.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer..。
祝你好运,爱你,珍
你好。从十几岁到现在,我一直受到父母在精神上的言语虐待。我在夜店被人下药,被人说唱醒来时发现自己躺在公寓的水泥地上。19岁的时候,我经历了一段被虐待的关系。我回到家被我妈骂了我吃了一整瓶镇痛剂然后去上班就像他们发现我昏倒在浴室里一样。我现在正处在另一段言语上精神上情感上受到虐待的婚姻中。我没有家人或帮助,我病了16个月,痛苦不堪。在我19岁的时候,我被绑架,被迫拍摄性视频,如果我离开,他说他会杀了我。我的上一任丈夫总是虐待他,并在3年内与他离婚。我也经历过很多虐待的关系。 My parents won't help they kicked me out for no reason I'm their only daughter. I need help I live in Tennesse is their ways to get help? God bless you. If u are in a marriage witg a non beleiver the Bible says if your in good company stay married if your in bad company leave. I am a firm believer if u are being abused and they won't change leave, the bible says so. I cry I have had panic attacks for 5 months since I have been here. He threatens to kick me out when he doesn't get what he wants. We got in a bad fight and he was going to call the cops I did nothing wrong I got in my car and fled and then he said he was going to kill himself. He shot the gun I was terrified . Went outside he didn't do it. His family sides with him . I'm alone sick no money no family. He is 46 he yells at his mom, who gives him lunch money washes his clothes lays them out, and gives him his meds. Likes is food perfect. And the icing on the cake his mom cut his steak for him for his lunch! I'm so sick I need help with showers and driving. He has problems, hes going to counseling to satisfy me. No go for yourself. I am a devout Godly woman, if I did not have Jesus, I will loose it. For the last 5 months I told him to stop or I will be in the hospital. I started cutting at 15 on lists, then my First husband I took a box cutter and cut my arms and legs. I tried to commit suicide 10 times. This man I married on FaceTime he seemed layed back and kind and loved Jesus, he's not even saved he lied. We stay with his family. He was married and lived next door for 6 years she left in the nite why? And one year on his own so he has lived away from parents for 7 years he's 46. I had to work and have an apt, my parents helped some but never their when you need them. We started to go to church I found one he was jelous cause I praised Jesus and sacrificed a praise , he says why don't u sacrifice for me. I'm Gods child annoited through my praise 5 people gave a testimony how I blesses them and how to get out of religiosity. I was humbled it was Jesus, the glory goes to God. God bless and thank u. If anyone knows of help or how I could obtain money. God bless
嗨,每个人,
我既惊讶又惊讶,我们有这么多人。我对你们和你们的处境感到同情。我唯一的建议是....我自己也处于紧张的情况下,所以我说的话打折扣。但在有这些"麻烦"的情况下。要求改变,更多的意见,尊重,欣赏和改变这个人。如果他们拒绝,永远不要尝试,不要承认他们缺乏努力,继续他们的方式。把F拿出来。物流、财务和可行性都可以在北美社会得到解决,至少如果你选择这样做的话。不要忍受,但如果你确实有缺点,也不要否认。 If so, over come them, master & own them. Then you have grown & taken your personal power back. Its not about a fight & winning. Its about being you & the responcible, capable, unique, diverse, adaptable, best mother F'ing parent you could possible be. Im not a big fan of cutting other parents out of childrens lives as they are needed, unless they are needed out. some do for sure. but thats case per case. God speed & hold true to your beliefs & morals. We all knew better, but refused to accept the reality of our situations. hang in there until change is futile & your growth is ripe & ready. Much love fellow earthlings!
我和他在一起11年了。我们一起有了孩子。我很害怕他会把我说成坏人,然后失去孩子们。我不认为我总是做出正确的选择。他甚至能把最细小的东西弯曲成可怕的东西。所以我才不想离开他。我的女儿们7岁,还有一对双胞胎。我担心女孩们最终会认为他的行为很正常。他的母亲也会辱骂他。她比我差十倍还背着我跟人说话。 I hate all of this. I wish I could leave. My family supports him :/
停止战斗。事实上,停止与施虐者和你内心的声音斗争。读://www.5wetown.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships/2013/12/fighting-for-peace/
我希望这能有所帮助。
通过Facebook,我遇到了我的一个老朋友。我发现她和一个虐待她的男人同居了7-8年。他把她的车卖了,由于严重的车祸和健康问题,她的经济困难无法离开。我为她的幸福感到担忧。他注视着她的一举一动,而且脾气很坏。我提出让她和我住在一起,但她似乎不愿意离开。在事态升级为危险之前,我能说些什么或做些什么来帮助她解脱?她表示她经常想出去,但不能因为钱,也没有地方去......
我已经和这个家伙在一起一年多了.....自从我们见面以来,他一直想要孩子,一年后他让我怀孕了,让我担心的是,这段关系中不存在尊重.....他对待我就像他是我爸爸....我再也不能做我自己.....我always feel sad but on the other side I can't be without him....now that I'm pregnant I feel so confused I think about it like this.....if he didn't treat right and we had no kids what makes me think he is gonna change now that we are expecting a child ....he has always had a bad temper......I think I'm in a abusive relationship and I just don't want to see it...and this is killing me
[…)我吗?我坐着听她讲了近两年,她从一段可怕的虐待关系中恢复过来,并找到了作为单亲母亲的方式。我看到她每次评估[…]都是正确的。
[…)我吗?我坐着听她讲了近两年,她从一段可怕的虐待关系中恢复过来,并找到了作为单亲母亲的方式。我看到她每次评估[…]都是正确的。
我真的很尊重和欣赏你的博客!我们正试图通过电影提高人们对虐待关系的认识。你可以在这里查看http://www.facebook.com/BLAMEfilm如果你有任何兴趣了解更多,请随时给我们发电子邮件。
我很高兴我也找到了这个网站,我才结婚4年,有一个儿子,但言语虐待,它只是....筋疲力尽,我听到了故事,每个人都提供帮助,但这太困难了,我有家人在附近,但我没有钱,试图让我自己,我的儿子和我们的财产出去是很难的,加上我为我的丈夫感到难过,不知为何这是我的错,但他说一切都是我的错,所以还有一件事,我知道我需要帮助,我只是不能得到它,我迫不及待地离开。
我非常高兴能找到你的博客。我和一个言语虐待者一起生活了将近25年。我住的地方离任何亲戚都至少有600英里,所以简单地离开并不是解决办法。我得制定一个计划。这很难,但我必须这么做。为了我的理智,我必须出去。我打算下周开始做心理咨询。这可能需要我一年的时间,但我只要制定一个坚定的目标,并坚持下去。