被焦虑和抑郁麻痹的一天

我想我们中的许多人都处于这样的精神状态，我们似乎无法想出什么东西来缓解这些身体或心理上的感受，当生活遇到挑战时，它们可能会突然冒出来。这两个问题严重影响了我的生活，我因此失去了朋友和工作。说实话，我已经尽了最大的努力，甚至已经在我的拖延症之上，但它总是不知从哪里突然降临到你身上，这种麻痹的感觉可能会持续一天、几天或几周。我将继续尝试，不断失败，但后者是难以下咽的药丸，因为我只想成为一个正常的人。当心

我很喜欢你的帖子，它今天帮助了我，谢谢!

我读了大部分的评论，我在打字的时候哭了，因为我感受到了你们写的每一件事。多年来，我一直在应对抑郁和焦虑，尤其是从很小的时候就开始焦虑。我21岁了，对我来说没有什么是容易的。每天我发现自己什么都不想做，只想一个人呆着，因为这比与外界打交道和与人在一起感觉更好，因为我过度地想人们在评判我。我给自己一种假象，以为一切都很好，但事实并非如此。我沮丧、悲伤、对自己的这种感觉感到愤怒，不知道为什么，也不知道如何才能停止这些感觉。就像其中一位女士说的，这就像一个恶性循环占据了你的身体，每天早上我醒来都希望一切都会好起来，幸福自然会到来。但事实是，我必须思考它，强迫它，因为现在我在扮演一个不真实的角色，在一天中很长时间。这种事让你只想一个人待着，躲起来，因为在那里你觉得做自己很安全，不用装模作样。我和人们的关系减少了，我和人们的交流也很少，现在到了我说话前要想很多，根本不想说话的地步。我害怕我和现任男友的关系会因为我那毫无生气的性格而破裂。 I’m always randomly depressed and he asks what’s wrong and just to not sound crazy ( so I feel ) I have to make up little stories to explain why I seem unhappy. But I try! I try to make him laugh, I try to bring good vybz even though I know I don’t at times without noticing, and I try to bring love even though I feel lifeless and dead... I still know I love him for certain. I just want to live a normal life like a lot of the people I see, I always find myself studying people and their behaviors and compare it to myself which is terrible because I’m practically beating myself up. The simplest daily life activities feel like weights and somehow never get done with me, starting with just getting out of bed smh, with all these things I overthink everything I’m doing. I haven’t had a job in months and haven’t gone back to college which is killing me and I know I need that and more distractions to get the ball rolling and keep me away from depression and anxiety but I can’t even start it up, I try the process and don’t have with energy for it and to even think of interacting with people at these places makes it worse. Happiness one day I hope will come to me and all of you lovely people ? because this is the hardest thing to go through and a lot of people don’t understand. Seeking help is the first step and I sure will go counseling. Peace love and happiness guys!

去年，我是家庭暴力的受害者。我离开了。我生气、焦虑、沮丧。我的人生计划(包括婚姻、孩子和稳定)正在土崩瓦解。离开让我清醒了。我审视自己的心。我有很多外在快乐的理由(高收入、好财产、体面的旅行，等等)，但我一点也不快乐。我对生活的热情消失了，这种热情的缺失使我更容易出现精神和身体健康问题。我在疗伤，因为我在改变。在我开始转变的时候，我就像一个机器人——对每天的活动没有任何依恋。 I lost my taste for food. I slept all the time. I cried daily. I couldn't find the energy to perform activities I loved. I knew what I needed to do to change, but I was paralyzed by fear. I learned to stop listening to the negative self-talk in my head, and take ownership of my own happiness. Anything that doesn't serve me, I release it.

焦虑的状态几乎总是和恐惧这个词密切相关，我经常把这两个术语联系在一起。约瑟夫·海勒(Joseph Heller)对这种状态的描述再贴切不过了。
“我确实在某个地方发生了一件事，它剥夺了我的信心和勇气，让我对发现和改变产生了恐惧，对可能发生的一切未知的事情产生了强烈的恐惧。“约瑟夫海勒

我很高兴我找到了这个博客——不高兴有那么多人也在挣扎。几周前我因为重度抑郁和焦虑问题住院了。说实话，我在这5天的停留中并没有收获多少。我的药只是稍微改了一下，需要时间才能知道到底是什么起作用了。我觉得我比刚进去的时候还难受。我的日子在这一点上仍然是低功能的。每天早上醒来，我都感到一阵焦虑。我几乎每天晚上都做令人沮丧的梦。处理它会让一天的开始变得错误，需要几个小时才能感觉好一点。我正试图避免服用苯，我不想在我已经处理的问题之上的依赖问题。我每天服用几次维斯塔利，这不是一种上瘾的药物，但当然，它缓解焦虑的效果不如苯并唑。事情就是这样……当我做得不好的时候，我总是觉得我让我的家人失望了，即使他们说我没有。我只是有些内疚，因为我想感觉好点。I will go for long stretches of time doing well and then because of stress and dwelling on passed issues,i just get overwhelmed...I start thinking obsessively about things that have happened in the past.I can be my own worst enemy!I know it would help to see a therapist,but I don't have the money for it right now. I am a 54 yr old wife,mom and grandma.I thought I would be over this struggle by now..guess not.Its a bitch, it is...But it helps ( in a weird way) knowing I am not alone and need to stop being so hard on myself for having mental illness. But I empathize with others who wish they didn't have this God - awful condition. Everyone hang in there, you aren't alone..there are many others dealing with the same stuff. You aren't a bad person, and people who don't understand or TRY to understand mental illness need to educate themselves and be a support to those who do..It would help alot....

对我来说，这是一个恶性循环……焦虑扼住了我的喉咙，我的胸膛，我的整个身体。我在夜里醒来，我发誓我要去某个地方。其他日子，抑郁让我粘在沙发上，用电视来控制自己，试图分散注意力。我害怕我做不到的事，焦虑不断，我瘫痪了……我推迟了一些事情，然后后果就产生了。我知道我需要帮助，心理治疗。我有过一个，她搬走了，不接受经济援助或我的保险;我们有一个美好的8年的关系。我正在恢复中，过去的一年半是我一生中最糟糕的。 My husband drank and was abusive and I would run. I relapsed. Our oldest was killed in Feb. I've ended contact with my narcissistic father, I'm about to turn 50 and other family members, who he treats like gold, are shocked as they never saw the brutal, vicious side of him reserved for me.
我是一个继母，孩子的妈妈也是一个自恋狂，有一个特殊需要的孩子没有得到他想要的——相反——我为孩子们感到心碎。
我变得越来越孤立，参加会议是如此重要，但也是如此困难....
最可怕的是，在这样的状态下，我在夜里反复醒来，我真的觉得我失去了它，真的需要去一个地方。
我患有慢性疾病，对许多药物都有不良反应;我对一些抗抑郁药(还有很多药)有过可怕的反应。我喜欢这种帮助，但真的很害怕它们的副作用。我因为副作用住院了…
我在寻找任何方法，从针灸到治疗，再到能帮助我消除深深的愤怒和怨恨的话语，这些愤怒和怨恨毒害着我和父亲的关系。我昨天对我丈夫很消极;我知道他很难过，他回家后会和我谈谈的。

我和你们大多数人一样，用谷歌搜索了抑郁瘫痪。妮可，你的帖子是最近发的，我希望你已经找到住的地方了。我无法想象如果我现在就要搬家。我是一名放暑假的老师，我日复一日地躺在床上，只下楼吃饭。我为了一些我必须要去的事情起床出门——一个亲近的人的葬礼和一些重要的家庭活动。我的体重增加了很多，除了加工过的垃圾食品，我懒得去锻炼或吃任何东西——起床和上厕所都花去了我所有的精力。我只在第三天左右洗一次澡，或者在我必须外出的时候。我的房子(卧室)的一部分看起来像一个囤积者——我没有精力或动力去打扫。打电话让我完全瘫痪。我需要找一个杂工来给我的房子做几个工程，但一想到找人说话似乎就不可能了。 I barely even respond to texts. I can lie in my for 48-72 hours getting up just to get food and go to bathroom. I stay on the laptop all day, mindlessly surfing the internet. I have family visiting from out of state in 2 weeks, and I must clean the house - it is so daunting. And, I am so frustrated and dwelling on all the time I've already wasted where I could have accomplished a lot already by just doing a little a day. Honestly, it has taken a lot out of me just to type this- I feel physically exhausted from doing so. I hope everyone gets to feeling better or somewhat feeling better. Depression is absolutely debilitating.

从三月份开始我就经历了极度的抑郁，我已经筋疲力尽了。这不是我第一次与抑郁症作斗争，但这一次让我很虚弱。我几乎完全破坏了我的事业，只是因为我无法应付照顾学生的“个人关怀和关注”，我总是如此自由地给予。失去了我的家，又意外怀孕。必须在两天内搬家。还是没地方可去，因为我有狗。但她是我活着的唯一动力所以没有她我哪也不去。我最近所有的钱都花在了弥补和挽救我的生意上。更糟糕的是，我因为经济原因找了个室友，他们一回家我就不知所措。焦虑地躲在我的房间里，因为我只想试着提高效率，每天50倍。 Broke down in tears a bit ago and started googling my problem so I can Try to fix it and found this. Thanks to all of you and the author for sharing and thank you for witnessing me. Not all days are bad but all days have at least a bad moment wholly teething to get courage to participate in life. Even worse everyone looks up to me. I'm tired of my self limiting illness.

从小事到大事都会给生活带来烦恼，导致焦虑。由于焦虑，我们的系统可能会长期处于紧张状态。谢谢你和我们分享这些信息。再接再厉。

我刚谷歌了"制定计划让我麻痹"这一页出现了。想到有人像我一样，躺在床上用谷歌搜索来寻找摆脱瘫痪的方法，我觉得很奇怪。
我想做一个好妻子。我想做一个好妈妈。我想做一个好祖母。但我只能自己操作，或者在别人需要帮助的情况下。
令人欣慰的是，我并不孤单。

从哪里开始?这个心理问题似乎渗透在我的头脑中，就像一个被焦虑引起的瘫痪所困扰的人。每一天都是我希望开始的又一堆未碰过的事情或未完成的家务?在经历了一场严重的事故之后，我经历了一些早期的情绪压力，导致了现在第二个十年的慢性疼痛。我不能忍受任何种类的药物(经过痛苦的经历才发现)。很久以来，我一直告诉自己，如果我足够努力，足够固执，我至少会找回一部分过去的自己……如果不是明天，那就是下周，下个月，明年。事实上，我是自己最严厉的批评者。这么多年来，我似乎爬上了许多陡峭的岩石悬崖的边缘，却一次又一次地掉到底部，所有的努力都让我伤痕累累。也许是时候让自己舒服地待在悬崖底部了，在那里我可以断定自己会呆在原地。每天我都觉得自己没有资格拥有任何东西，包括我呼吸的空气，因为我无法从不认识的自己身上达到某种标准。 I feel for the most part, completely invisible as I've come to never leave my home outside of an absolutely necessary medical appointment. This is partly because my chronic pain becomes more intolerable with sitting upright or standing for 10-15 minutes or more. Quite some years ago, anxiety became so heightened that the smallest of daily tasks became insurmountable. Years ago I began giving my doctors my own opinion of how I saw my condition as a whole...That I'd be a happier and more productive person if I were able to switch bodies and places with a healthy prisoner who was perhaps serving a life sentence than living as what I feel to be "living dead." My strength to move through another day by God only. I certainly realize that I'm not first nor the only suffering soul as many suffer and some far greater than I. Neither will I be the last while humans tread. However, the battles of anxiety's daily mental noises suffocating productivity so that it becomes as a museum worthy episode...Makes each day a marked challenge. So each day and each moment of that day is heavily branded upon seemingly each of my brain cells with the thought of yet one more yesterday of missed opportunities...Where do I begin?

所以我并不是一个人。一筹莫及的时候，我在谷歌上搜索“我被恐惧麻痹了”。我从小就认识到这种恐惧，只是那时确实有些东西值得害怕。我那虐待我的哥哥，他野蛮地打我，直到我试图自杀后被从家里拖出来。最近，当我在我哥哥的葬礼上面对这个人时，这种恐惧又重新开始了。我不知道他会来，因为他在监狱里。但他就在那里，还威胁我。这似乎让我回到了一个小孩，瘫痪了，再次躲在门廊的台阶下，而他跟踪我，想要打我。但并没有什么东西跟踪我。我丢了工作，我找工作，觉得我能做到，但当我需要采取行动时，我感到恐慌。 This isn't fun, feelings of being a failure or weak are like cement in my chest and a weight over my body. What is wrong with you!!?? I say to myself. Reading the post and comments I think has helped me pin point this. I've repeated a mantra in my head saying no to fear but it isn't working. I don't want meds, I just want to control my own shit. But powerless to do so. I'm going deeper into depth, deeper into dispair. I don't see away out. I talk to no one about this for fear of ridicule or judgements because I thought no one would get it. I think this helped but really clueless as to what to do. If I can't depend on myself I think that's a game over situation. Which leads me to understand now, why some people do what they gotta do. I don't have that option though. So the long hard road out of hell is what I seek. Anyone got directions?

这就是我的每天，即使对事情来说，它应该是令人兴奋的。我应该为我的假期打包行李，但我在做什么??瘫倒在这里，试图通过我在脑海中筑起的墙，我累坏了，我不久前才爬起来。我知道对抗它的唯一方法就是站起来做它....但即使吃了阿普唑仑也很难。我讨厌每天都这样生活，太累人了。我和我的治疗师正在努力，但我希望有一条捷径。我不想变成这样，我相信其他人也不想。

这是一篇可爱的、有用的、写得很好的文章。我每年有40%的时间瘫痪。它们让我效率低下。我一直在努力想办法摆脱它们，但就像你说的，唯一的办法就是轻轻推开，然后做点什么。
我让自己做的一个小技巧是在睡前写一个“至少我”的清单。在这本书里，我列出了每一件我确实做过的小事，从洗澡、穿衣到清洗脸盆或给客户发邮件。一旦你列出了你在糟糕的一天里做的小动作，你就更容易对自己好一点，因为你花了大部分时间睡觉或上网。

谢谢你的评论，贝琳达。我很高兴我的评论是有帮助的。

谢谢你写这篇文章。我今年53岁，正处于荷尔蒙过山车“围绝经期”。它在踢我的，你知道的!上周，我和30岁时一样专注、能干、高效。在过去的三天里，我一直是迟钝的，沮丧的，优柔寡断的，今天，瘫痪了。我试着在精神上鞭策自己，但无济于事。我吃糖，喝咖啡因，吃“精神能量”草药……这一切都无济于事。我知道过几天就会平静下来，我的抑郁只会停留在“正常”的水平上，但我现在正处于深渊之中。也感谢所有勇敢分享评论的人。知道我并不孤单对我意义重大。

你们可以聊啊聊，但我们都知道什么都改变不了。如果真那么容易，我们都能被治愈。忍受痛苦并接受它是唯一的方法，直到我们咽气。坚持住，伙计们。

谢谢你让我找回了做人的感觉。
从逻辑上来说，我知道有时感觉自己是个失败者是可以的，但当你在底部时，很难发现太阳。
谢谢你勇敢地告诉我们这是可以的。

我现在的情况很糟糕，我发现行动起来很困难。我试着每小时做一件事，但是今天我失败了。这种让人瘫痪的抑郁剥夺了我太多东西。我最终生活在肮脏的环境中，并因此失去了我的家，但我仍然躺在这里挣扎着起床刷牙。我担心我的牙齿也会掉。我已经牙疼了。
我刚刚被一个伪君子辱骂了，她在房子的状况上侮辱了我，还把房子弄得更脏了。这让我很生气。她真是个讨厌的人，我想这让我失去了动力。我讨厌活着，但为了我的宠物，我会努力战斗下去。

这听起来可能很可怕，但看到其他人正在经历和我一样的经历，我感到如释重负。听起来很老套，但是当你经历这些的时候，强烈的孤立会让你觉得你是世界上唯一一个经历它的人。自私地，我知道我不是唯一一个遭受这种痛苦的人，这让我感到安慰，这也给了我希望，我可以处理好它。我已经断断续续地处理了很多年了。但这一轮是不同寻常的。我想说的是，我认为解决办法之一是不要孤立自己。当我和一个人在一起时，我感觉好多了，不是很多会激怒我的人，比如陌生人，而是一个不会完全讨论你或激怒你的人。在某种程度上，富有成效是值得的。我只是坐了一趟电梯，赚了10美元，哇，10一整箱，但事实是，我坐进我的车，开车让我觉得不像一个彻头彻尾的失败者。46岁了，尽管我撒谎告诉所有人，但最近大多数时候我还是觉得自己完全是在浪费空间。 I know I'm not but there is this little nagging voice that says yes you are what have you accomplished? You do nothing but be sad complain and be depressed all day you lay on the sofa now that you have one because I was homeless last year you get yourself together and then you put yourself back in a situation to lose it all again. It's a vicious cycle. And I am fighting this demon call depression tooth-and-nail with my full spirit. If there is anyone in the West Georgia area Douglasville who would like to form a small support group with me where we meet for coffee please let me know

熬过了一天。我不确定能不能熬过今晚

谢谢你！我瘫在床上读着这篇文章，但你帮助我意识到，尽管我觉得这是我今天应该做的所有事情，我有点自责。我已经成功地写了一些东西，我不会在写作上像你一样自责。我知道明天又是新的一天，我要在不伤害自己的情况下度过今天。对我来说也是巨大的进步。谢谢你！

因为完美主义，我已经抑郁两年了……我讨厌我让我的父母担心和感觉，但我不能告诉任何人来帮助我…今天我几乎瘫痪了，从上大学开始我就一直在努力防止这种情况发生……我需要工作，工作，学习，学习，学习…现在我已经筋疲力尽了，我总是强迫自己活下去……我想要的只是正常地生活和工作。带着爱去学习，不要害怕……我今天没参加社交聚会，我就是去不了……这句话我好像说不出来

首先我想说，我完全理解你们所有人的感受，我爱你们每一个人。我在帝国大厦的屋顶上都有焦虑/抑郁/强迫症/压力障碍!!我从8岁抑郁开始就有了这种症状，并一直持续到我的余生。从我一出生就拒绝我的母亲开始，把我从一个家庭成员传给另一个家庭成员，直到我4岁，然后回到她身边。于是她离开去照顾自己，直到我姐姐放学回家，直到我爸爸下班回家。从那到一段我认为是天作之合的婚姻;从一个噩梦走到另一个噩梦。但我全心全意地爱着这个人，并留下了。我有个孩子，女孩，结果跟他和他那可怜的家庭一模一样。把我的生活搞得一团糟。 Loved and cared for her as I did him. Had a still-born son. Was always very sick after that with one major illness after another, usually requiring hospitalization, 11 surgeries thru the years. Were'nt always poor, but did struggle several several times, had to file bankruptcy once. Now, I am 60yrs old, disabled but do not qualify for disability, my husband (who came to finally love me and was my prince) died suddenly 6 months ago. The company he worked 41 yrs for gave me HALF of his pension to live on(because he died at 59, not 60). And left me without medical coverage, including for my meds. One med alone is $753.00 PER MONTH, that's the one that stops my severe and crippling anxiety attacks. Help? I have ABSOLUTELY NO ONE and NO KIND. The ONLY way I was able to get thru getting my Husband buried was because I was 'walking' thru it in such a state of SHOCK that I didn't realize what I was actually doing until 3 months later. NOW.... while I own our home and cars .... I am a quivering ball of human terrified broken-hearted crippled and devastated confused and totally lost mass of flesh that hides under my blankets in my huge Ortho health chair in my living room. I do not know what is going to happen to me.

格雷格，谢谢你写这篇文章，也非常感谢每一个评论的人。我能理解你们每一个人。我读过很多博客文章，但从未回复过一篇。在这里。我真的很想说谢谢你的诚实和分享。我的情绪一天比一天低落，于是我决定戒掉“被抑郁症麻痹的感觉”，现在我就在这里。既然没有快速走出黑暗的方法，至少我们可以向彼此伸出手，在完全理解中找到安慰。我现在感觉好多了，至少可以打字了!我和你的感觉一样，Alexandra。我无法忍受这是一个恶性循环。 I am the Queen of beating myself up for my behavior. An old therapist told me that I am a perfectionist. I asked how that could be, considering I am so far from perfect. She said the fact that I never accept myself for the good that I do -- that I only see myself as flawed -- makes me a perfectionist. It is so true that I am never satisfied with myself. She asked me once to list 5 good features about myself. Crickets chirped. I was SO embarrassed to say anything positive about myself. I felt like I would be bragging, plus there was nothing to list anyway. Lol! I felt like a grade schooler on the gym stage during a spelling bee -- that fear of criticism and self-doubt and failure, and the reason why every year I purposefully misspelled the final word asked so I wouldn't qualify to go on stage in the first place! I still can't speak that list comfortably so I have to work on self esteem. I beat myself up for unjustifiably beating myself up! Vicious cycle! Anyway, my goal for tomorrow (well, today since it's 1:30 am now - my horrible sleep schedule) is to not berate myself and to try to keep believing (dreaming?) that I'll make some sort of progress today. I have to get up early to bring my boys to their soccer games so that's the definite push I need. It forces me to shower, too. (God, that feels so pathetic to say.) I lost my job back in November and have lost all interest in looking for a new one. I can't stop, though. Unemployment is running out. Real life is crashing in on me. I've been closing my eyes to it, pushing scary reality off to "later." Checking my bank account and telling myself I'm still doing ok. This is why I have come to rest in the blackness. It is so embarrassing. I can't stand reading all of those "feel good," encouraging quotes posted on Facebook by my friends. They don't apply to me!! I'm waiting for when one will apply to me! One I can confidently agree with! I know "Life is a gift; Don't waste it," but it sure comes easy to waste right now! These inspirational quotes came to mind because the only one I DO like right now is the one accompanying this blog post! "Stop beating yourself up. You are a work in progress, which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once." In the picture, I am the little bunny reaching to get back to earth. "Baby steps." "Fake it 'til you make it." They're not kidding! I am going to stay up now to attempt to get my sleep schedule back to normal, and think about you all, and how we're all fighting this @#%@#% fight together. Somewhere out in the world, I know there is someone else awake feeling like me.