精神疾病与家庭动力(《孤家寡人》)

我想，孩子的内心深处是讨厌给父母制造这样的麻烦的。他们希望自己快乐，就像任何人都想要快乐一样。他们不知道如何解决问题。不管一个家庭有什么感受，我认为孩子的感受更糟。我们很难不被冒犯或在攻击中退缩。我们必须时刻记住，这是一种疾病，我们不能因此责怪他们。然而，我们确实需要为自己的行为设定严格的界限，看看我们能期待什么。我们经常被逼到墙角，远离合理的期望。所有这些都在我们和我们的孩子身上滋生了绝望。原谅、忘记、继续前进真的很重要。 Never go to bed angry. Pray with your child and forgive your child. Comfort your child. This is really really hard when you have been attacked especially when your child is older because it is so pronounced and hard to excuse. You have to get a break, even if your child mistreats you for it, and takes it as a sign you do not love them. You may be looked upon as the only one who gives them love and acceptance, and the only one who is there for them. When you go out or get a break they may feel abandoned and panic. Scedules and dependability helps. Reassurance that you love them helps. Reasonable expectations and boundaries help. If you have not had any requirements for their behavior then you have to build up to a reasonable level slowly. Small steps will get you closer to where you want to be in functioning as a family. Consistency is important in establishing a secure environment for your child. That always comes first. Pointing out that you can argue and get upset and that happens in all families, but that you love one another, forgive one another and move on to try to do better each and every day. That gives us and them hope and courage. Prayer with your child can really help because it gives hope for change. Doing special things with and for your child let's them know that you love them no matter what. You are pretty much what stands between them and despair and giving up. Involve other family because they tend to stay away. Don't let them get away with that. Ask for structured family visits around an activity that will be guaranteed for a good time for all. Don't force family to interact with your impaired loved one because your loved one will feel their resentment. Try to help them make good friends and have some fun. Sometimes we are so much about our business and we are withdrawn from the troubled one emotionally. This really is destructive to a supportive relationship. When a mentally ill child or any child feels like they are a burden and not loved, they will act out more in an attempt to get the attention they need. If demands are too great they will act out a lot. It is okay to change your expectations and back off and give a child time to take self control. Unfortunately, with mentally ill people, it can take a longer time. How can you help the young child take self control. They can be involved in figuring out a plan for what to do when they are stressed and beginning to have a melt down in order to lessen it's severity or avoid it occurring entirely. Don't give up. And find trustworthy people to share their care and pamper them and physical activities for them to engage in to decrease stress levels, and deal with emotions. Most of all forgive yourself for not being the perfect parent. Apologize to your child quickly when you need to and make up for your short comings. Let them know you care in big and little ways. A simple hug can mean so much. Keeping your promises can be like gold. Tell yourself that life will not always be so difficult. Sing to yourself. Practice being thankful and counting your blessings. If you are a Christian, sing praise songs to God because that catches God's ear and the word of God says that he lives in the praises of His people. Live a life of reading His word, and prayer, depending upon Him for strength, and wisdom for daily life. Keep good friends who really listen and care about you. Have a life outside your children and your problems! Enjoy something! Keep your family informed about your struggles, because if you do not tell your family and friends what is going on they do not get a chance to care or help. Don't be afraid to ask for specific help either. Never give up. There is no way our but through. Love covers a multitude of sins is what the Bible says.......it means that it makes a lot of irregular and messed up things okay, because we just do not notice them or forgive them freely as we have been forgiven by Christ. God Bless. They read us like a book, we can not hide our frustrations from our children.

哇，这真的击中了我的要害!我的女儿在离开9天后才回来，她已经回到了如履薄冰的状态。我讨厌对自己的孩子有这种感觉。

你的帖子描述了我家人对我儿子的感受。我有很多东西可以写，但你的故事让我产生共鸣，知道我的感觉是正常的，这让我感到安慰。

作为一个12岁女孩的母亲，我的女儿还没有被诊断为躁郁症(但我读得越多，我就越相信)，我经常允许类似的想法“泄露”给朋友们，结果在这一切结束时，我觉得自己很可怕。你看，我的女儿有两个身份:一个是她的家庭(无论是在家里还是在外面)，另一个是她的朋友、老师和她交往的人。这是如此令人沮丧和孤立，你上面的坦率的话让人感到宽慰，终于!12年来，我们一直小心翼翼地围绕着她和她的“高维护”，感到沉重和疲惫。我们爱她爱得要死，但我们醒着的大部分时间都在为生存而挣扎。谢谢你所做的工作。新墨西哥州