双相情感障碍和鬼影:这是一个大问题

我和一个变性人约会了一个半月。一开始一切都很好，但他知道我要搬回我的国家，所以我告诉他我只是想享受我们所拥有的。我记得我划定了界限，解释了沟通对我有多重要，我需要一个有耐心的人，因为我正在处理创伤。他似乎可以理解，告诉我他在沟通方面是多么的优秀和强大。
刚开始我见到他时，他总是精力充沛，
直到我在这里的最后几天，他都在做计划，甚至想让我见他的朋友等等。
后来他变得越来越冷，越来越累，直到有一天他告诉我他患有躁郁症，最近才开始吃药。
他告诉我他很好，只是需要时间重新适应。我对双性恋一无所知，那也是我第一次和跨性别者约会，但我很高兴他能坦然地和我分享这些，并告诉他我很高兴他能照顾好自己，无论发生什么，我都会支持他。
我问了很多次是否一切都好，说我不想多想任何事情，并想确保我们之间有沟通，但他总是说一切都好，而不问我的感受。
有几次他想和我见面，因为他知道我的日程安排有多忙，当我有时间和他见面时，他就会在最后一分钟找借口不去。
上次他发短信找借口的时候，我告诉他我很抱歉，但这样已经没用了。
我希望他能试着弥补，试着解决这个问题，因为在那之前我告诉他这没关系，但要求他不要再这样做了，只是谈谈。我发完信息后，他就消失了，避免与我对抗，也避免任何形式的对话。他没有阻止我，因为几天后，我试图联系他，向他解释我的想法，告诉他，即使我很快就会离开，我也很在乎他，但就这样凭空消失是不对的，特别是当他知道沟通对我来说有多重要的时候。即使在我告诉他我的感受，我想要见他或和他说话之后，他也没有回答我。
我甚至不明白我是否在乎这一点，我觉得自己很愚蠢，因为我信任他，和我分享了那么多事情……我试着告诉自己他只是经历了很多事情，但我无法接受他根本无法交流的事实....

我一直在试图弄清楚我和那个一直在约会的家伙到底发生了什么——直到上周，我还在想是不是他就是我的另一半。我们约会了几个月，一切都很顺利，我想。我们进展得很慢，但我知道他已经从一段艰难的关系中走出来了，而且在前一段婚姻中还生了两个孩子。我们关系很好，他总是非常体贴周到。他每天都给我发信息，对我的工作很感兴趣等等。我两周前的一个晚上见过他，然后就。他不再发信息，不再回复。我发短信问他最近怎么样，他说很忙。我知道这看起来不对，所以我打电话给他，他坚持说一切都好。第二天他给我发了条短信，说他不得不取消我们第二天晚上的计划，因为他太忙了，没有时间约会。 Although I responded that I was extremely hurt he would end things over text, and not even call, he said that he was sorry but still didn't call. At some point my friend (not at my prompting) urged him to call me b/c she could tell how distressed I was by the lack of closure. He said something like ok, but did not. I can't make heads or tails of it. Did I do something? did he have something going on I didn't know about? I did notice he would get obsessive about various subjects, and he admitted it was a thing for him. He also mentioned taking prozac at one point. Could there be much more going on than I knew?

对我来说，最难的是不知道。我们已经约会5个月了，而他在过去的6天里对我视而不见。他几个月前告诉我他有抑郁症和血压，以前吃过欣百达。我注意到他会对政治问题高度关注，肯定有点偏执。但这些都不是可怕的警告。他这几个月过得很艰难，在一场火灾中失去了工作，一直在苦苦挣扎。我们大概一个月才见一次面因为发生了那么多事，而且他住的地方离我只有几个小时的路程。我觉得很难知道这是不是他需要空间因为他有那么多事要做。他有一段时间有点害怕，但之后我们度过了一个充满激情和情感的周末他告诉了我所有正确的事情。几天后，他因为工作压力太大，就没回我短信。 This was just so out of character, that I thought he must have broken his phone , or gotten hurt . We literally text all the time , for hours . I couldn’t believe that the very same man who had shared so much with me and been so vulnerable with me would just walk away. Honestly I’m a bit heart broken and so lost and confused. Part of me thinks he just needs some time to sort things out, but the longer it gets without hearing from him , I just think he’s gone . So then of course , I doubt my ability to know someone . We have had such an connection on every level . I feel very taken advantage of . Because we literally talked all the time about the future .
我想我只是想决定，我是不是生气了然后告诉他我有多受伤，这样可能会把他推开。还是给他空间，希望他回来，在他回来之前不联系他。这尤其困难，因为他是我4年前结束23年婚姻后真正约会的第一个人。之后再谈重大的信任问题!

我对你们每一个人都有同感。我和一个男人交往了3个月，每隔5-6周我就会消失。没有任何迹象，也没有任何解释。他很早就告诉我他患有躁郁症，我说我仍然想和他在一起，陪在他身边。
我跟他说过很多次，无论好坏，我都会在这里。当我们在一起的时候，一切都很好。他告诉我他有多喜欢我，他和我有多亲近，他有多感激我。
但他消失了3-4周，不给我发信息，不回我，甚至不让我知道他没事。我告诉他，如果他需要时间，没关系，但每次发生这种事，我都担心得要命。我只想知道他还活着而不是死在某个沟里。
我真的很喜欢他所以我才忍了下来。但最让我烦恼的是，如果我需要他，他却不在我身边。如果我去了医院，感觉不舒服或真的很挣扎，他不会在意的，因为他在一个黑暗的地方，忽略了世界上其他的一切。
我真的不知道该怎么办了。我现在正在第二季的第四周，他消失了。我想我还是等他回来再跟他谈吧

结婚30年了。丈夫是今年确诊的。他把我消失了，我们住在同一个房子里。已经10年了。我只是在照顾家里的东西和孩子，我想等孩子们都离开了家，我们要么就分开，要么就像以前一样住在一起。吃药后他好多了，但鬼影还是会发生。我提醒他，无论你愿不愿意，我都在这里。

我男朋友有躁郁症，而且自我治疗。他一直把在网上买的东西灌在舌头底下。这并不理想，但这似乎确实对他有帮助，我当时的想法是，如果有帮助，我就接受。整个夏天，他开始滑向过去的消极行为，当他狂躁时，他变得刻薄和刻薄。他挑剔我的一言一行，批评我，骂我。几周前，他开始去精神科医生那里接受实验性氯胺酮治疗。在此之前，他痴迷于减肥和禁食。他减了20磅，开始每周一次禁食48到72小时。他总是在食物上羞辱我，试图让我达到他的节食水平。然后他在混合物中加入氯胺酮，让人无法忍受，一直都很刻薄。 Last week I picked him up from an appointment and he picked a fight with me, said a bunch of hurtful things and broke up with me. I went to his house and gathered my things and left. We didn’t talk all week. He sent me a message that night reminding of an obligation I had in the morning. I didn’t respond and I didn’t make the obligation either. I ran into him a few times that week at work (yes we work at the same company so there’s that) the first time we shared an elevator and made pleasant small talk. After I felt ashamed for even being nice to him after how he treated me so the next few times I just ignored him altogether. He messaged me on fb that night and said he missed me and wished I’d come over for some jalapeño poppers he’d made. Then the next day we chatted and he seemed like he was having regret and was still even considering coming on my trip for my bday in October. I tried to reach out the next day but he ignored me. Then I had asked about a couple of things I forgot to grab from his house, I said I’d leave my car unlocked and he could just leave them in my car at work l. That way if he didn’t want to talk he didn’t have to. Days went by and nothing. No returner stuff and no response. I waited a few more days to give him space then I messaged him again. This time on fb messenger so I could at least see if he was reading my messages. I said if he needs more time let me know. If it’s done and he doesn’t want to talk again at least let me know and return my things but either way please don’t leave me hanging. I’ve done nothing to deserve that. Read the message but no response. Even fb says we are still “in a relationship” he hasn’t told his family whom I’m close to and I wanted to give him the opportunity to either figure it out and or tell them first. He has had a history or being in w relationship and then ghosting her. I don’t know what this is or what he wants. I feel like I’m going crazy and not sure what to do

我已经被完全忽视了3个月。阅读这篇文章和每个人的评论对我真的有帮助。结婚14年后离婚。痛苦的。谢谢大家。

我需要帮助。我分不清我男朋友到底是躁郁症还是混蛋。我们已经约会3个月了。刚开始的几周，他非常棒，几乎是没日没夜地给我发短信。总是想和我见面，但一个月后，他突然消失了5天，然后没有解释就又出现了。我原谅了他，我们继续向前走但正好一个月后他又来找我了。他会有情绪波动的迹象。他每24-36小时吃一次。他几乎每天都做噩梦。我们之间没有问题，也没有争吵。 Hes calling me baby one day and then a few hours later he just disappeared. Its been 10 days and ive heard nothing back from him. He posted once on his snapchat story and he knows i can see it but he didnt even care. Idk if im making excuses for him or this is really his disorder.

我和一个患有躁郁症的人有过一段同居恋情。我们在一起4年了，感情就像坐过山车一样。她是我遇到的第一个患有双相情感障碍的人，所以我一时毫无头绪。在我们开始交往几个月后，我才开始意识到她的情绪稳定性出了问题，因为她真的很擅长隐藏自己的情绪。我后来开始注意到她的狂躁，充满活力的发作和抑郁发作，但我一直认为这是她性格的一部分，因为她过去与家庭的创伤和过去与前男友的关系。她曾告诉我，她和父母的关系破裂是她在18岁时搬出去的原因。我认识她的时候她20岁，我21岁，那时我的父母笃信宗教，我想逃离他们，所以我抓住机会和她住在一起。我爱上了她的甜美，爱，善良和真诚的性格。我总是忽略了她野蛮的一面，那是易怒的言语谩骂，控制欲强，可恨，充满了不必要的抱怨。大约在我们同居半年后，我意识到她的情感个性是一种精神疾病，双相情感障碍。 Upon realizing this i was already emotionally invested and had told her that i would try to always be commited to understanding her bipolar disorder. Our whole relationship has been respectfully great. We had spent almost everyday together working multiple jobs for the past 4 years to make ends meet paying the bills and rent. We would always get stoned and go on dinner dates. She would go out of her way to do things for me as she was full of surprises on our monthsaries. She would always assure our relationship and would tell me I was the one she loved the most. She was quite responsible always cooking,cleaning, doing laundry, etc. I've seen her struggle with her depressive epsiodes and i've always comforted her with hugs and kisses. Like any other relationships we've had really bad arguments, but we both maturely always manage to come to an agreement and accept our faults. 4 years into the relationship i really believed that she was a person that i could have a future with and eventually get married. Then came a turning point to our relationship. We both started working at a marijuana grow op and she had started smoking excessively and drank energy drinks every single day for a month straight. I believe the high amount of caffeine worsened her anxiety and ability to cope through her mood swings. She had also met a new co-worker that i have noticed they have gotten uncomfortably close and his intentions were clear that he likes her. I've confronted her about and she claims that they are nothing more than friends. I've even caught her texting him it was nothing sexual but she tried to hide his phone number by saving it under her girlfriend's name. Her excuse was so i dont get butt hurt about it. After work she would be emotionally exhausted and she slowly started to drift away from me. I also had a gut feeling that she caught feelings for this other coworker of ours. We both ended up getting laid off from the job and thats when she was a complete emotiotional wreck. Out of nowhere, out of the god damn blue she was saying she needed space to be alone and that she was feeling alot of pain and hurt inside and she could no longer give me love and that its not my fault. She brought up how she wanted to move back with her abusive parents and that we give eachother space for a month for her to better herself, which made no sense at all. I have been the one supporting her and basically being her therapist for 4 years. Anyways she proposed that we give eachother space for a month and not talk to eachother at all and after she gets to decide if she was better enough to keep our relationship going. I had a gut feeling that she wanted to GHOST me after that one month. So i confronted her about this "space" she wanted and what her intentions were and she literally told me that our relationship is coming to an end. Im 25 years old now , scratching my head asking myself what did i get myself into.

在某一集里，人们会在这里或那里欣赏善意和/或鼓励的信息，而在另一集里/抽离/被封闭吗?即使他们可能不回应?

你好所有的,
它永远不会结束。它会一次又一次地发生。
不要把任何钱放在他们的名字里，尽快离开
它从不停止

我和我的伴侣在一起了8个月，一切都很好，每天晚上都在一起，买礼物，很好，我们在一起很好，我是他最好的伴侣。我们很少争吵，就像我们所有人一样然后他有很多垃圾最近失去了他的房子，猫不得不去他爸爸那里，工作很辛苦然后他撞了他的卡车所有的压力，然后他崩溃了悲伤抑郁崩溃了。完全震惊了，他好像变了一个人。我们不住在一起，但自从他生病以来，我们再也见不到对方，也没有他的消息。震惊，一切都很好，就像他把他看到的一切都怪在我身上，他的朋友，家人，而不是我。上个月我一直在哭，睡不着，他把我推开。我每周都寄想你卡，甚至每周都有一次去给他的邻居扔糖果袋，甚至连一句谢谢都没有得到。然后令人惊讶的是，我们一周前见过面，可以看到他不是我新认识的那个人。但他买了新卡车，做了头发，穿了新衣服。然后说也许我们可以做朋友，我说不，我不想那样。 I cried so much when I got home. Was that low surprised I thought this it im sick of this. I've stood by you now this. I was at one point thought my life ended told him in a text im done I dint get a reply. Not even next day. For all he new I could be dead on floor. He replied back im ill I don't need all this crap I said all about you. WHAT has happened to this guy. what do I do driving me mad week now no contact ???? I think he got Bioplar

我和一个躁郁症患者谈了一年恋爱。在这段时间里，我见证并支持了一些最糟糕的高潮和低谷，他在这一点上暗中信任了我。然而这一次，随着一段小插曲的酝酿，他决定对我对自己的评论进行人身攻击，并在某种程度上完全把我的话曲解为对他的批评。我花了几个小时试图支持安抚，并一直坚定地支持，但这还不够。结果他被人恶语相向，还到处拦着我。非常令人担忧的行为，不知道他是否还好，等等，但我也相信我们都需要休息。希望在某个时候他能解除障碍，我们可以讨论，但也要为最坏的情况做准备。考虑到我们如此神奇地联系在一起，彼此深爱着对方，但还是忍不住想，也许这是最好的。很明显我不是他需要的人否则我们也不会走到今天这一步

这真的很有帮助，发现其他人在同一条船上。我断断续续谈了17年的异地恋。我十三岁的时候就开始跟他说话了。他的童年受到了伤害，他的母亲在我们15岁时死于癌症，不久之后他的父亲自杀，随后几年他的继父虐待他。他非常坏了。我们每天晚上都要聊上几个小时，在十几岁的时候一直互相依靠。23岁的时候，我爸爸被诊断出癌症晚期，当我告诉他的时候，他无法忍受痛苦，消失了5年。我没能找到他。最后，我从英国搬到了加拿大。有一天，当我去找他时，我发现他以前的社交媒体账户已经重新激活了。我们又联系上了，就像什么都没发生过一样。 He told me he was diagnosed with bipolar shortly after my dad passed away in 2014 and was in a bad way, but he had kept an eye on my progress and thought I hated him for leaving me, so he thought I’d be better off. We fell back in love and he made many attempts to visit me in Canada although his anxiety and mentality stopped him every time. After a year, I decided to fly back to England to bring him back with me. We both quit our jobs and decided to start a fresh together in Canada even though this was during the pandemic.
回到英国后，我们还没有在一起过。他有过多次抑郁发作，在过去的6个月里，他已经消失了我6次左右，有时是因为感染了新冠病毒，或者是因为他祖父去世。每次他走我都很伤心，因为我总是担心他不会回来。他已经失踪10天了。不是最长的时间，但在这里没有收入，需要回家度过这段艰难的时期是一种挣扎。他是我一生的挚爱，当一切都很美好的时候，我们会无比的坚强和相爱。但这对我的心理健康真的很不利。我试着去理解他，我从来没有让他觉得我会考虑放弃他。我们比任何人都更了解对方，对我来说，重要的是他明白他和其他人一样值得被爱和幸福。但我的心与所有患有这种疾病的人同在。 There is someone out there who will prioritise you. You just need to let them help you.

我的故事和他生气时的消失很像。喝了两大杯酒后，他胡思乱想了几句/完全不合逻辑的话，半夜才开车回家。整夜和第二天都不接电话。退回我们一起买的东西。我有很多关于戏剧、痛苦和不成熟的例子。我们只约会了4个月，但他在心情不好的时候总是那么有爱和体贴。我从不被允许有自己的情绪/他不能控制它，和他相比，他的情绪是温和的。那天晚上我们爬上床时，他狠狠地侮辱了我。我一夜没睡，眼泪汪汪，压力重重。我求他道歉，他坚持说他是认真的，说“没那么糟糕”。 The entire 4 months have been either extremely loving or extremely irritable. That day I made him leave his key and take his things out of my house. All he had to do was acknowledge my pain. I just don’t understand it but it’s on par with the whole way the relationship has been. This happened yesterday and although I feel relief I still love him and want to make sure he’s ok. He is ignoring my texts and phone calls completely. I’m sure by now I’m “against him” like “everybody else”. I know in my heart I did the right thing because I’m recovering from a car accident and I also have my own mental health to worry about. I know my life with him would be very hard. It’s all so painful. I hope he sticks with his new therapist and that we can work it out one day. If anyone would like to answer this post I would really appreciate it. He’s such a tortured soul who literally does not know how to have a respectful, adult conversation geared towards resolution. Instead he just escalates. I feel my own mental health regressing.

谢谢大家分享你的故事。在我的生活中，有几个人患有躁郁症。服用药物后，它们似乎可以正常工作。我有一个60年前的朋友。我们一直很亲密。大约五年前，我注意到她的古怪行为。我们不住在同一个城市，所以当她来拜访我们时，这一点变得很明显。没有过滤和界限的行为是相当令人震惊的。我不会说得太详细，但在与她的家人交谈5天后，很多事情浮出水面。她说她没带足够的药。 Whether or not that was true she had people feeling like babysitters before she went home. She would have periods of normalcy. For a time afterwards she lived with her daughter and that not working well for the household she went to a half way house of a sort where meds would be sorted. Then she finally got her own place. Our friendship has been through many phases. I decided to move nearby because I had not recognized patterns to her behavior changing and getting worse over time. We had many conversations where she seemed herself, doing the right thing to get help. Now that I am here, after and for many months she has cut me out of her life. I was hurt at first even angry. I am approaching indifferent as I have decided to cut ties with her. It is too much of a roller coaster. Also my husband and I will be moving back to where we came from. I read somewhere a statement that addresses this issue very well. Having bipolar doesn’t give you a free pass to treat friends with no respect. So we move on. She is on meds, found a new therapist and has a life even in the pandemic. The difference is I am not in it, but it is my choice not hers.

哇!所有这些都是非常有洞察力的，至少可以说是非常明确的。最近开始和一个我认识了近30年的青梅竹马约会，直到几个月前才知道这件事。同居时的“隐去”已经持续了3周多，考虑到每天非常有意的日常交流突然中断，已经在很多层面上引发了危险信号。在阅读了所有这些帖子/经历，努力教育自己，我不确定这是我想要的生活，在一段持续的关系中，我想知道和担心是否一切都好或将会好，因为我必须考虑我自己的精神/情感健康状态和自尊.....