What Do Dreams About Self-Harm Mean?

Hi Chase,
This sounds like a pretty intense set of dreams; no wonder you woke up in such a state. Thanks for sharing; I hope writing them out helped in some way. If you're looking for an official dream analysis, I'm afraid I'm unqualified to provide one (you'd want to talk to a therapist specifically trained in that sort of thing). But I will say if they're bothering you--and if they continue to bother you--then it's worth thinking about the relationships represented in your dream (your gf, your dad, and probably most importantly, your relationship with yourself) as well as major symbols (e.g. violence, especially specific examples of it) and the feelings you experienced in the dreams themselves (you mentioned betrayal more than once, for example).
The next step would be to think about what's been going on in real life. Are any of these relationships currently strained or bothering you in some way? Are you experiencing any of these feelings, like hurt or betrayal, in everyday life? I've often found that my dream weren't literal so much as symbolic (and exaggerated) representations of things I'd been experiencing but not fully dealing with... like things I was putting off or relationship issues I'd been trying to ignore.
I'm sorry I can't be more specific, but I hope this helps you find your own answers regarding these dreams. Take care!
Sincerely,
Kim

Hi Grace,
That sounds like a pretty upsetting dream; I would have had a strong reaction too! I hope sharing it helped lessen its impact, even a little. If you're looking for an analysis, I'm afraid I'm unqualified to give an official one, but I would suggest working through some of the questions I mention in the post and thinking about your relationships with your mother and grandmother. Dreams like this are rarely literal, in my experience; usually they're a representation (often an exaggerated one) of things we've been experiencing and thinking about on a subconscious level. If you have a history of SH, it may relate to that; if not, and if you've had no desire to SH during your waking life, it may be more about some things you may need to vent or confront that actually have nothing at all to do with SH -- but *do* impact your mental health.
I'm sorry I have to be so vague! I hope this helps anyway. Take care!
-Kim

Hi Auzzy,
I'm not a dream analyst or any kind of mental health professional--just a writer with personal experience in living with SH--so I can't officially untangle the threads of your dream for you. But I do understand about having confusing dreams that don't seem to align with reality (it happens to me all the time!) and in these cases, I suspect they have much more to do with our subconscious thoughts than our conscious, waking lives.
If I were you, I'd start by considering the following (privately, not necessarily here in the comments):
- Do you have anything you're upset or frustrated about that has to do with your mom? It may not seem as intense as your screaming match in the dream, but sometimes our dreams magnify these sorts of things to get our attention (or so I think, anyway). You mentioned not being able to talk with her about *everything* -- is it possible there's something you wish you could talk to her about, but don't fee able to?
- Your dad standing there not doing anything might also be worth looking into--think about your relationship with him and whether you feel like maybe there's some unwanted distance there or something.
- The self-harm in your dream probably isn't indicative of any real ties to SH, since you mentioned having no history of it and no real desire to do it. It's probably more of an emotional allegory -- maybe you're hurting yourself by keeping certain thoughts or feelings pent up?
These are all unofficial shots in the dark in my part--the main thing is for you to ask yourself questions until you feel like you find the answers you need. (Personally, I find journaling about them most helpful.) I hope these questions help you get started, and that your dream makes more sense soon!
Sincerely,
Kim

Hi,
To begin with, I have to emphasize that I am not a doctor of any kind, and am not licensed to do any official dream analysis. However, personally, from what you've said, I would guess your dreams are connected to that "trapped" feeling you've been coping with and a (very natural) desire to be relieved of that feeling. Since you felt better after hurting yourself in your dream, it seems like you associate self-harm with relief, even though you've never hurt yourself.
It's good to recognize this early—it gives you a chance to change that narrative without falling into hurting yourself for real. I would definitely suggest trying some things now, rather than later, to find some healthy ways to cope with your negative feelings that will help you feel better. One thing I've done in the past when I felt trapped in a situation was to sit down and write out every single possible solution, even the ones that seemed farfetched, as long as they were even a little possible. Just seeing that list helped a lot more than I expected. And sometimes the creativity involved helped me see options I didn't recognize before, and sometimes these were the options I chose in the end.
Journaling in general can be helpful too, as well as any kind of creative outlet you might enjoy. Self-care, too—taking good care of your body can improve your mental state more than you might expect. It can also help alleviate sleep disturbances, including nightmares.
If you're struggling with your dreams, or if you start to feel like you're struggling with self-harm urges—or honestly, if you're just struggling in general—consider asking for help. Commenting here is a great first step, but is there someone you can reach out to and talk with? A therapist or counselor might be a good idea, but if not, see if you can think of a close friend or family member who could help you through this. It's not selfish or weak to ask for help; if anything, it's brave. And it can help so much, both now and in the long run.
I hope that helps. If you have further questions, comments, concerns, etc. feel free to reply here or elsewhere on the blog. I'll reply as soon as I'm able.
Sincerely,
Kim
PS: I appreciate the Stranger Things reference in your name. :)

Hi Jade,
It's great to hear you view your past self positively; I can see why that might make a dream like this rather confusing and disturbing. I'm afraid I'm not a licensed dream analyst, so I can't give you any definite answers here (if there are such things, when dealing with dreams). I would strongly urge you to find a therapist or other mental health professional with experience in dream analysis, if you want a proper deep dive into this and any other dreams you may be having. But in the meantime, I can offer you some questions to ask yourself that might help you discover the answer on your own.
- Why might your child self have wanted to die? Did you experience any dark thoughts like this when you were that age? If you've been stressed at all, it might be bringing up memories of such times even if you no longer feel that low. Otherwise, this might be more symbolic—maybe you feel as if something you are doing now is disappointing your inner child, suffocating her. If you've recently given up on a dream, or even if you're just generally unhappy with the direction your life is taking, that could be a factor here.
- On a related note, do you feel like you've betrayed yourself in anyway? This may be especially relevant if you attacked her in the dream because you were upset at her choices—not to mention the "betrayal" of you attacking her. Or if betrayal seems too strong a word, consider whether you've disappointed yourself in some way lately—maybe you made yourself a promise you didn't keep, or set a goal you failed to achieve?
- Have you seen or watched anything lately that might have triggered the imagery in this dream? Often our dreams pull imagery from recent external stimuli—so, for example, maybe you watched a TV show where someone died of monoxide poisoning or punched someone else in the face.
In general, if you're wondering about your dreams, it's always a good idea to journal about it—try listing out all of the different elements of your dream, and then consider what relevance they have to your waking life. Don't just think about what physically happened, think about how you felt and how that might relate to feelings you've been dealing with during the day.
I hope I've been helpful here, and I hope you have better dreams tonight. Feel free to reply here or comment elsewhere on the blog if you have any further questions, comments, concerns, etc., and I'll reply as soon as I can.
Take care,
Kim

Hi,
It sounds like you are going through a lot, to say the least. It sucks to be in a bad situation that feels like it just keeps getting worse. I think the first thing you need to do (and I hope you already have) is to get some sleep. I know that might sound absurd, given the scope of everything you've shared here, but your body and your mind need rest. As someone who's dealt with nightmares most of my life, I know it's easier said than done, but sleep can make such a HUGE difference in how you feel and how clearly you can think. It's not going to fix everything, but it's a first step.
Next, try a breathing exercise. Again, this isn't going to fix everything. But it might help you calm down and clear your head, even if just a little. I like box breathing—breathe in to a count of four, hold for a count of four, breathe out for a count of four, and hold for a count of four. Repeat four times or so. (Stop if you get dizzy.) You can also try yoga or just going for a walk or listening to a guided meditation if you prefer.
Now, think about whether there's anyone professional you can reach out to for help. I know that might be daunting, especially when you've got so many things on your plate, but it really sounds like you're in a place where you could use some extra support—and it sounds like your friends and family might not be the best place to turn for that support at the moment. It's all too easy sometimes to always put others first, but if you don't take care of yourself, it's hard to be there for the people you love. And I'm sure you'd like your loved ones to take better care of themselves, too. So consider whether you can talk to a counselor (maybe your school or work has a free one you can talk to), or call up a doctor, or connect with a therapist—if not in person, maybe online or by telephone. If you don't know where to start, try a hotline—we have several listed here:
//www.5wetown.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…
Even if you don't want to see a doctor yet, you might try connecting with a support group or even just finding some self-help materials to start with. Again, that page is a good place to start looking.
I hope you and your loved ones are able to start healing sooner, rather than later, and I hope this information helps you do so. If you need more clarification or have any other questions or concerns, just ask. I'll be around.
Sincerely,
Kim

Hey! I understand you most of the situations. I also lost my grandpa it's been 3 months and i am having a very hard time. Today i also had a dream about my dad who found out i was self harming.
That was a thing that i would never want to happend in real life. I also have a lot of nightmares. What i wanna say is that you are not alone. And about putting others first is a good thing but not to do it too much. You need to take care of yourself first. If you feel like you don't wanna do that anymore i think that it's time for you to say to them :- sorry, but i think you should understand that i'm always the therapist and I can't go on anymore . Ik it may sound rude but it's the truth after all. I really don't wanna seem rude but your friend's need to understand right? And ik it may sound absurd but you may need sleep. Make sure to clear your mind and say to yourself : im ok, everything will be fine and stay positive. Ik life it's hard but we all need to fight . Everything will get better soon believe me . It sounds forever but the happiness will start to show up soon. I wish all the best for you

Hi Cheyenne,
First off, I'm so sorry to hear that you and your girlfriend have been going through such a difficult time. I know how hard it can be NOT to think about something, and to ignore what sounds to me like intrusive thoughts. (Keep in mind, however, that I am not a medical professional, just a writer with some personal experience in this area.)
Whether or not your dream was a nightmare, it does seem to me like it's probably tied to your recent thoughts and experiences around self-harm. Again, I'm not a professional, but in my unprofessional opinion, it seems like maybe the reason your dream didn't feel like a nightmare until you woke up is that, unconsciously, your brain may be linking self-harm with relief. Even though it made you feel worse in the past, now that you keep thinking about it, there may be a part of your brain that is trying to convince you that simply going through with it will make those intrusive thoughts go away. (In my experience, however, the more you engage in self-harm, the harder it becomes not to think about.) If this is the case, it may be that your dream felt pleasant because you were dreaming about that relief you're hoping for, but you were distressed when you woke up because you don't want to keep hurting yourself.
As for being triggered, yes, it is certainly possible that your girlfriend's self-harm may have triggered your own. This may make things difficult for you if she keeps self-harming while you are trying to recover, but it's not an impossible barrier to overcome. Ideally, of course, you will both be on the path to recovery soon.
I understand not wanting people to worry over you, especially when you're worried about your girlfriend. However, please try to believe that your own well-being is every bit as important as your girlfriend's. I'd like to assume that she wouldn't want you to suffer, especially in silence, any more than she would want you to. The same, I hope, goes for your parents.
Is it possible to reach out for professional help on your own? Some schools have free counseling services—if not, you can try calling a hotline that might be able to connect you to the right service provider. I know getting help can be scary, no matter who it is from, but as someone who went through recovery on her own for a long time before asking for help, I can tell you this—it's much easier to get better WITH help than without it. Here's our resources page:
//www.5wetown.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…
However, I do think it might be helpful for you to talk to one (or all) of the people you mentioned. It's possible that you and your girlfriend could work toward recovery together, rather than suffering separately without talking about it; just take care not to use any accusatory language or point fingers in any way. You don't want her to feel like you're trying to force her into anything; rather, try to focus on simply letting her know that you're worried, that you care, and you want to help her feel better in any way you can. Or, you can start by talking about you--maybe hearing about your struggle will help her feel comfortable with opening up to you about her own. And yes, your parents will worry if you tell them, but they may worry even if you don't. Looking back now, I realize that I acted a certain way when I was self-harming, and even though I didn't tell them what was wrong, they knew something was wrong without knowing what--and that can be worse than knowing the truth.
However, disclosure is a very personal thing--so please do weigh anything I say here against your own judgment. You know your girlfriend, your parents, and your relationships better than I do; it's up to you to make this call, though I hope I've made these decisions a little easier for you.
如果你有任何其他问题,评论,担忧, don't hesitate to reach out. I'll be reading.
Wishing you the best of luck with your recovery,
Kim

Hi Shaz,
Thank you for your comments, and for your concern! Please don't worry; I'm glad you took the initiative to share your worries with me--though please do remember, I am not a licensed therapist; my opinions are personal, not professional.
Regarding your dream--I can't formally analyze it, but I do think it's likely to do with all the thoughts you've been having about self-harm. Our dreams are often a mixture of memories (recent or distant) and the things we've been thinking about, both consciously and subconsciously. So it's not surprising to me that, having thought about self-harm, you dreamed about it. Even though your past self-harm didn't cause any permanent damage, that doesn't make it not "real" or insignificant. And if you're thinking about it again now, it seems like it had an impact on you--maybe more so than you realized at the time.
I think it's important that the wound itself in your dream was frightening to you; to me, this sounds like it could be reflecting your worry about the situation, like you don't really want to give into self-harm even though you've been thinking about it. It's often the case that the harm itself isn't what we're after, but whatever relief we may find follows after. So this is a good sign, to me; it's good to not want to hurt yourself!
If you're worried about your dreams, you may want to speak to a therapist that specifically has some experience with dream analysis. Even if not, however, it may be helpful to you to reach out to a therapist to talk about your thoughts around self-harm—it's better to head these things off early, if you can, than wait until they get worse. Here's our resources page; there are some links and phone numbers here that might help:
//www.5wetown.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…
If you have any more questions/comments/concerns, don't hesitate to reach out. I'm here to help however I can. :)
Sincerely,
Kim

Hi, I just experienced something similar and I’ve been trying to figure out what it means. I’ve now had two consecutive dreams where I’ve seen my SH scars have doubled and are now on both wrists instead of just my left. They are completely healed and I have been clean of cutting for about 4 months but have been thinking about it recently after attaining a scratch from my dog, people mistook for a new sign of recent cutting. I feel like I’ve dealt with all the reasons that used to trigger me and have no reason at all why I would want to. It’s coming back into a familiar feeling of guilt, like I’m ungrateful or a burden. I can see myself starting to spiral again into these intrusive thoughts but I was doing so well, I really am trying to avoid it. If anyone could have any idea where this is coming from and how I can deal with it healthily it would really help. And sorry this is so out of the blue, I know it’s been months since people last commented.

Hello,
I'm sorry your dreams are so stressful! I'm not a licensed dream analyst or mental health professional—I have no formal medical training—so I can't offer a proper analysis. But personally, this seems pretty straightforward—assuming that you do self-harm in real life, these dreams seem to be about your fear of being discovered. Maybe you are feeling more worried than usual, or maybe something has happened that brought it to the forefront of your thoughts?
If I misunderstood and you don't self-harm in real life, it's less straightforward, but I still think the symbolism points to something about yourself you're afraid of sharing with others—maybe something you do that if self-destructive, even if not as literally as self-harm.
通常,当我们的梦想反映了现实生活中的烦恼,the best thing to do is to confront those worries. This doesn't mean that you have to go and tell everyone you know about your dreams or your self-harm this instant—but if there's anyone at all you can talk to about this, I strongly urge you to do so. Sometimes just talking helps lessen the fear and puts things into perspective. If you want to understand your dreams better, working with a licensed therapist who specializes in dream analysis would be ideal, but if that's out of the question, consider dream journaling. One exercise you can try is to describe your dream in as much detail as possible, then see if you can pick out major themes or symbols to think about. As you continue journaling, you can look back and see if you pick up patterns among similar dreams—beyond the obvious similarities—and write about what those symbols mean to you.
It's also important to address the self-harm itself. Again, assuming you DO self-harm in real life, these dreams might also be a sign that it's time to take a step toward recovery—or to get back on that path if you've strayed from it. Making an appointment with a medical professional, calling up a hotline, joining a support group, or even starting with some light self-help through education or simple self-care exercises—these are all good first steps you can try. Here's our resources page if you need some info:
//www.5wetown.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…
Hopefully this helps! If you have more questions, concerns, etc. feel free to reply here on the blog and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
Sincerely,
Kim

Hi Ray,
我很抱歉听到你听起来像一个公关etty unsettling dream--but I'm glad you were able to resist the urge to harm yourself in this case. Dreams about self-harm can be particularly difficult for those of us with a history of self-injury, even if it's far in the past. There are many possible interpretations of your dream, but I'm afraid I can't solve this riddle for you; as I've mentioned in other comments, I am not a licensed therapist or dream analyst. However, I will say that it's very possible that your dream may be indicative of a certain level of stress or distress that may be bringing up thoughts of self-harm, especially if in the past you tended to self-harm in order to cope with difficult feelings or situations. It may be that your friend is causing you this distress, or it may be that your subconscious associates this friend with a sense of relief (which is what many people turn to for self-harm, although I don't know if this was the case for you) that you may be seeking in your everyday life.
It is surprising that you dreamt about a method of self-harm you've never actually used, but it's possible that your mind is pulling this particular image from something you've seen or read about and using it as a metaphor. If you really want to go in-depth into understanding this dream (and any other difficulties you may currently be facing), I strongly recommend talking to a therapist or counselor, ideally one experienced in dream analysis.
然而,如果你不愿意,在这个时候,you can try and work through it on your own by considering your thoughts and feelings around different elements in your dream. For instance, ask yourself questions like: How am I feeling about the friend that was in my dream? Are there any circumstances in my life that may be triggering an urge to self-harm? How did I feel during the dream? Have I seen images or read things recently that may have contributed to certain elements of this dream? (In my experience, writing down both the questions and answers can be incredibly useful in understanding the issues your subconscious may be trying to work through or bring to light in your dreams.)
I hope this helps. If you have any more questions or comments, feel free to reply here or elsewhere on the blog. Take care!
Sincerely,
Kim

Hi Madi,
我很抱歉听到你一直在近了tmares and self-harm urges lately. It is great that you've managed to stay clean so far, and even better that you are going to therapy. However, it sounds like therapy isn't helping as much as you hoped it would. I would strongly suggest talking to your therapist about this issue if you're able—do they know that you feel like therapy isn't helping? Simply telling them this may help them find new, better ways to work with you in the future.
It's also important to make sure that you are actively participating in the therapy process. Talking to someone is a critical first step, but if your therapist is giving you exercises to do or thought experiments to try, or any kind of therapeutic "homework," it's vital to make sure that you are working on these things and putting real thought and consideration into them. I know it can be difficult when you already feel so low, but these things can help, and it's important to do them to see if they will make helpful recovery tools for you or not. (I don't know if you are doing this already or not, so I wanted to mention it just in case this is something you might be struggling with. I know many people do.)
It is also possible that this is simply a case of mismatch between therapist and patient. If you've been working together for a while, as you mentioned, and you don't feel like you can trust this person or like they're understanding what you need in order to get well, it may be worth considering if you should try finding someone else to work with. There is no shame in this, nor should your current therapist take it personally—we all need different things to recover, and having someone in your corner that you can truly connect with and who understands you on a deeper level can make all the difference.
I also understand not wanting to "stress out" your family; I kept my self-harm to myself for a long time for similar reasons. But if your family loves you, the most important thing to them will be your well being. And if I were your family, I would want to know about what you're going through and help, rather than have you keep me in the dark to "protect" me from stress. Obviously, I don't know your family or how you relate to them, but if you have reason to believe they would be supportive and understanding about what you're dealing with, please do consider talking to them as well. The stronger your support system is, the smoother the path to recovery becomes.
I hope this helps. Please feel free to reply here or comment again elsewhere on the blog if you have more questions or concerns you'd like to share. I'll be reading.
Sincerely,
Kim

Hi Alex, u can call me LL, I just wanna say that I'm sorry for your loss and that you should not start doing self harm, I had a dream about doing it, and I've been wanting to do it for a while. But it never feels as good as u think. You should go to professional help, even if u don't like talking about your problems, mby you could write it down for the therapist and then she will only ask you a couple of questions. I'm only 13 years old and I know 4 people that has done self harm, but they never wish to it again.

Hi Alex,
Thank you so much for your comment. I'm so sorry about what you've been going through. As LL mentioned already in their reply, self-harm can definitely be tempting during times like this but it is never a good solution. It is good that you are worried about these feelings, and it is good that you reached out to your mom for help and commented here as well. I completely understand about feeling uncomfortable talking about your problems with someone else, but LL is right, if you can it would absolutely be beneficial for you to get in contact with a counselor or therapist.
The thing to remember is,. most people aren't comfortable in therapy at first, and therapists know this. You don't have to talk about anything you're not ready to, and they can't force you. So you can take it slowly; you might even begin simply by letting them know that you are uncomfortable and worried about the situation. A good therapist will help you work through these barriers and feel more comfortable over time, at your own pace. (And remember, you can always change therapists if you don't feel a connection with the first one you find. I do suggest giving it some time, because you will likely be uncomfortable at first either way, but over time if you feel this person is not helping you, it is absolutely all right to seek out a different option. Not every therapist is right for every patient, and it's important to find someone you feel you can trust--though that trust may take a while to build up.)
If it helps, keep this in mind—you've just talked about your problems with me (even if only a little), and I don't hate you. Reading about your situation makes me hope that you can find the help you need to feel better. And others who hear your story may be helped by simply knowing that they are not the only ones going through something like what you're going through. You are not alone; please do not forget that.
If you have more questions or just need to talk more about this topic, please feel free to reply here or comment elsewhere on the blog. I'll be here, reading.
Wishing you the best of luck in your recovery journey,
Kim

Hi Saar,
Thanks for your comment. I hope you've had better dreams since this one; I know how disconcerting it can be when a vivid nightmare like that seems to come out of nowhere. While I am not a licensed therapist and cannot offer an "official" analysis of your dream, I'll do my best to offer some (hopefully) helpful insights!
In my unprofessional but honest opinion, it seems likely to me that your dream has to do with your memories around self-harm and, I would guess, your feelings about that. I won't pretend to know why your dream included the specific imagery it did--if you're worried about that, and especially if you're having recurring, distressing dreams, I would suggest talking to a therapist or counselor with experience in analyzing dreams. But given that this dream seemed to occur not long after your friend reminded you of your past, I think it's pretty safe to say that the two are connected, and that your nightmare may simply be your brain's way of working through the distress that those memories may have caused you.
I hope that helps! If you have more questions, concerns, etc., feel free to reply here or comment on future posts. Take care!
Sincerely,
Kim

Hi Sal,
Thanks for sharing your story, and for reaching out rather than staying silent. I'm sorry you've been having such distressing dreams, and for the difficulties you've faced in the past that seem to be resurfacing. I think it's definitely important to take some proactive action now to improve your mental state, rather than waiting to see if things get worse (because often, if something is disturbing or distressing, trying to ignore it generally won't do much to make it go away, in my experience).
首先,我知道你提到你了therapist in the past but that you didn't find it very helpful. However, I'd like to suggest that you try again, if you feel able to--I know from personal experience that not every therapist is right for every client, and I've had a few mismatches myself. But the value of finding someone whose approach DOES work for you is so worth the effort of continuing the search--at least, that's been true for me. Especially since you've had suicidal thoughts (and/or behaviors?) in the past, I highly recommend working with a professional.
There are some things you can try on your own as well. The fact that you read this blog (and I'm guessing have read other articles about self-harm or nightmares) is a good first step: it's good to do some research to understand what you're going through and to see what others have done that helped them get through it. In your case, addressing your nightmares can certainly help you get better sleep, which is critical for good mental health.
However, in this case I think the best way to deal with the nightmares is to deal with the root cause, which sounds to me like it might be your feelings and memories around self-harm and suicide. Again, this is why I would recommend a therapist, but if that's not an option right now (or if you want to do more on your own while you look for a good fit), you might consider joining a support group and seeking out other social support as well. If you have any friends or family you trust and feel comfortable talking to about this, please do. And if you ever feel like you are at a "breaking point" or overwhelmed, please don't hesitate to call a hotline to get some immediate support. You can also try a few therapeutic techniques on your own to see if they help even a little, such as self-directed CBT, mindfulness exercises (like yoga or meditation), or even simply keeping a journal where you can vent as needed or even try to reframe your thoughts and emotions in a more balanced way. (Keep in mind these won't all work for everyone, but they've helped me in the past, and they might help you, too.)
Here are some more resources you can check out:
//www.5wetown.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…
//www.5wetown.com/abuse/self-injury/self-injury-homepage
I hope this helps. If you have any more questions, concerns, etc., feel free to reply here or comment on future blogs. Take care.
Sincerely,
Kim

Hello Heidi,
Thank you for commenting. I am so sorry to hear that you've been struggling; it certainly sounds like you have a lot on your plate, emotionally speaking. While I won't say I know exactly how you are feeling, I can certainly empathize with a lot of what you shared, and I understand how hard it can all be to cope with—especially when you feel like you don't have anyone close to you that you can speak with about it.
Self-diagnosing can definitely be an easy trap to fall into. But if you are hurting (whether emotionally or physically or both), then that is something to take seriously and to try and address, regardless of the "official" diagnosis you might end up with.
It sounds like you don't feel comfortable talking with your family about your feelings or your urge to self-harm, but would it be possible to reach out to someone else? I realize you might not be able to schedule a therapy session on your own, but does your school maybe have a free counselor you could talk to without necessarily needing to ask your parents about it first? If that's not an option, you might also consider calling a free hotline—these can be SO helpful, especially in particularly difficult moments—or even joining an online support group of some kind. There are also free online chat services like 7 cups that are manned by volunteers—while these people may not be able to offer advice, per se, they can listen to you when you need someone to talk to that you can trust to keep your conversation private.
Here are some resources you can check out to get started:
//www.5wetown.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…
As for your dreams, they definitely seem tied to the urge you mentioned to self-harm—they are likely your brain's attempt to sort out your worries and feelings, and your (completely understandable) desire for relief from those feelings. (However, keep in mind I am not a professional dream analyst.)
In any case, the most important thing I want you to remember is this: your feelings are valid. Your experiences are valid. And you deserve to feel better, and to be treated (and to treat *yourself*) with kindness and empathy. I am glad that you have not self-harmed yet; it is more difficult to stop once you've started than to never start at all. However, even if you do wind up hurting yourself (as much as I hope you don't), remember that recovery IS still very much possible.
I hope this helps. Please feel free to reply here or comment on my other posts if you have further questions or concerns. I'll be reading.
Sincerely,
Kim

Hi Rose,
Thank you for your comment. You are right that self-harm and suicide are not the same thing, but I understand why you would be drawn to this post (and to asking about your dream here), and I will do my best to offer a helpful response.
这听起来像,你的梦想,你有一个出来f-body experience where you saw your own body. I can imagine that must have been jarring, especially given the apparent nature of your death in the dream. I'm not a licensed therapist or dream analyst, so this is just my opinion, but I do think that it's pretty significant that you have a history of self-harm and have dreamed about suicide before.
However, keep in mind that having this dream doesn't mean this is what will happen. It doesn't even necessarily mean that it's what you want to happen. Rather, it seems like it might reflect some latent (or maybe not so latent) worries you may be carrying with you about your past--as well as your future. As a self-harmer, it's natural to be worried about relapse, and/or about the situation getting worse (if you are still actively hurting yourself).
If you want to understand your dream better--and especially if you are worried that you may start self-harming again or that the situation may escalate--please try and talk to a therapist or counselor about it, ideally one with expertise in dream analysis. If that's not an option you can or want to pursue at this time, however, I would suggest journaling or other writing exercises. Sometimes just writing a thing down can help you get a better grasp of it, and take away some of its power over you.
If you'd be willing to seek out a support group or call a hotline as well, here are some resources to check out:
//www.5wetown.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…
I hope that helps. Please feel free to reply or comment again if you have further questions or concerns. In any case, I hope you can rest easier--and sleep better--soon.
Sincerely,
Kim

Hello, I’ve never commented on something like this before because I was scared of the person on the other end telling someone else. I’ve self harmed in the past and have been going through alot of stress lately. In my dream (I have this one alot) Im self harming and nobody comes in to stop me and I die. Well I assume I do because my vision gies black. I have history of bad mental health. My family is aware of it. So I talked to my family about how i’ve been feeling and I feel like she didn’t understand what I said. And I know this blog is about self harm dreams, but I also still struggle with eating disorder. And I have dreams were im doing it again, purging and skipping meals. If you could get back to one of the dreams, or both, it would make my day.

Hi Kioko,
First of all, I want to apologize for your comment going unanswered for so long. I hope my answering you now will still be helpful to you.
我不确定我完全理解你的处境,布鲁里溃疡t I will do the best I can to help however I can. It's perfectly fine to share your dreams, although as I've mentioned in replies to other comments, I am not a licensed dream analyst or mental health professional. If you are really worried about your dreams, and especially if they are still occurring, I strongly recommend talking to a therapist or counselor who can work directly with you to suss out the meaning of your dreams and address the underlying issues that may be driving them.
Personally, I do think it's important that you noted the connection between having these dreams and feeling like you "won't last long" and like you're "lazy." Now, I don't know if this is true for you, but in my experience laziness usually isn't just laziness. For me, it's usually a symptom of depression or anxiety; do you think this might be true for you, too? If this is the case, I imagine that your dreams might have some connection to that feeling--especially if you have any negative feelings, such as guilt or shame, about your procrastination. These types of feelings, in my experience, are prime nightmare fuel.
I don't think you are overreacting. It's natural to have nightmares if you're worried about something, and likewise, it's natural to worry if you have nightmares. It sounds to me like maybe you have a lot on your plate. At the risk of being repetitive, I want to recommend again that you find someone you can speak with directly about your concerns. Therapy would be ideal, but if that's not an option right now, maybe there is a support group you can join or a trusted friend or family member you could talk to?
Here are some resources if you'd like to take a look:
//www.5wetown.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…
Whether or not you feel comfortable speaking to someone about this just yet, you may also want to look into some self-care strategies that may help alleviate your stress, help you sleep better, and maybe help you stop procrastinating, if that's a goal you have in mind. Mindfulness exercises, like yoga and meditation, can help you feel calmer, while journaling, making art, and/or exercising can give you an outlet for working through more difficult emotions.
I hope this helps. Feel free to reply or comment again if you have further questions or concerns. I will do my best to answer more promptly in the future.
Sincerely,
Kim

Hi Taylor,
First of all, I am so sorry it took this long for you to get a reply. I hope my answering you now will still be of some benefit to you.
I'm also sorry to hear you've been struggling. If you are at all worried, especially that you might relapse, I would really urge you to talk to a therapist, counselor, or even a support group about your concerns. While you may not feel like there is more going on in your life than usual, sometimes stress and triggers can creep up on us without us noticing. I know I've had it happen to me several times where I felt stress and negative thoughts/emotions building up even though, externally, there didn't seem to be any reason for it... It's rough, but it's better to address it rather than tell yourself it shouldn't be happening, or worse, pretend that it isn't. If you're not up to seeking out therapy or a support group at this time, I would suggest ramping up your self-care, and trying to be more mindful of *when* specifically these feelings seem to bother you the most. This may help you identify a trigger you may be missing, or an underlying concern you may not have been attending to.
As for your dream itself, it definitely sounds to me like it's directly tied to your worries about self-harming again and the disappointment you might expect you will feel if you do relapse. Again, practicing good self-care and maybe talking to someone professionally about your concerns may help put these nightmares to rest by lessening the fears behind them. But keep in mind this is just my opinion; I'm not a licensed therapist or dream analyst.
While it's certainly not a good feeling to worry about relapse, the fact that you ARE worried and reaching out to ask for ideas is a great sign. It means that you are already trying to take steps in the right direction, and that's a good thing. If you need more ideas or have follow-up questions, feel free to ask. I will do my best to answer more promptly this time.
In the meantime, please do your best to take care of yourself.
Sincerely,
Kim

Hello!
This is an excellent question. It's difficult to answer for a few reasons. One: I am not a licensed dream analyst (or any kind of mental health professional), so I'm afraid I can't give you an "official" answer. Two: so much of a dream's meaning is unique to the dreamer's experiences and worldview; since this is your aunt's dream, your aunt will ultimately need to be the one to determine what the dream means to her.
However, I can understand how disturbing a dream like this might be--particularly since, as you mentioned, dreams are such an important part of your family life and beliefs. If possible, I would recommend talking to a licensed therapist about this--one who understands and respects your family's beliefs and can work within that context to help your family better understand your aunt's dream. However, if that is not possible or if your aunt is not willing to try that at this time, I would encourage her to sit down and really think about the different elements that were present in her dream. She might even want to write it all down, to help organize it all (as there may be many pieces to this puzzle).
Some questions she can ask herself that might help her to work out what was going on in this dream include:
1. What emotions did I experience during the dream?
2. Is there anything I know about this family member that might be connected to what happened in this dream? (This might not be literal--for instance, maybe your grandmother often "beat herself up" about certain things, which your aunt may then have visualized literally in her dream.)
3. Could any recent events, thoughts, or experiences have triggered parts of this dream? (For instance, maybe she saw something violent on TV shortly before this dream--or, maybe she's been worried about not hearing from your grandmother. Worry can often manifest violently in bad dreams.)
4. Could any memories have something to do with this dream? (For example, let's say your aunt remembers your grandmother once hit her hand accidentally with a hammer. This dream might be an exaggeration of that memory, again possibly triggered by any worry--conscious or subconscious--she might have now around how your grandmother has been doing.)
I wish I could give you a clearer answer; I know it would be more comforting. But I hope you, and your family, find this info helpful. And again, when in doubt, it never hurts to seek the counsel of a licensed therapist or counselor who specializes in dream analysis--especially if your aunt has any more dreams like this one.
Take care,
Kim

Hi Ashley,
First of all, congratulations on 141 days of being self-harm free! That is a huge milestone, and I am so happy that you have been able to stick to the path of recovery for so long already.
It sounds like you have been going through some difficult times lately. I expect your dream is strongly tied to this stress as well as your past with self-harm. While I can't interpret it for you as a licensed dream analyst could, I will say that it sounds to me like it may reflect a desire for relief from the stress you are currently under. I imagine, then, that it might be very tempting to self-harm again because in the past it may have brought some relief during times like this.
However, as you are already on your recovery journey, I think you are probably hoping to avoid turning back to self-harm. If you have a therapist already or are open to seeking out therapy (either in person or online), I think now would be a really great time to reach out for extra support. Better to ask for help now, and possibly prevent a relapse, than wait until one has already occurred.
If you are not open to that at this time, if there is anyone you feel comfortable to talking to about this and asking for support, again, now is a good time to do that. If you don't want to talk to someone you know personally, maybe consider a chat service (like 7 Cups or the Samaritans) or calling or texting a hotline. I know this can be a very hard thing to talk about, but I do think it's important to do so if you can. Having even just one person to help you cope can make a big difference. This page has a good list to start with:
//www.5wetown.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…
There are also a lot of things you can do on your own that can lower your stress and help you cope with your thoughts and dreams around self-harm. I don't know what you have already tried (or may be currently doing), but for me, guided yoga and meditation practices help a lot--something about being able to zone out and just let someone else guide your movement and your thoughts for a little, and steer them in a positive direction, is very soothing to me. I wrote a post not long ago on urge surfing you may want to check out:
//www.5wetown.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2021/2/using-self-harm-urge…
锻炼和分散自己的爱好r other activities you enjoy also tends to help (even if you don't feel like it at first, sometimes you get into it after a bit). Making a point to do something small but celebratory to mark each new day of progress on your healing journey can also help—if you are someone who likes to look ahead, maybe setting some rewards for yourself that you can look forward to after X more days of staying self-harm free can help.
For more ideas and info, you can also check this page if you haven't already:
//www.5wetown.com/abuse/self-injury/self-injury-homepage
I hope this helps--both with the dreams and your recovery. Keep in mind that I am not a licensed therapist—merely someone else who has struggled with self-harm and the recovery process. Don't hesitate to reply if you have questions or comment on other blog posts if you have more you would like to share here.
And, just in case no one else has had the opportunity to tell you this yet: you are stronger, and braver, than you think, and I believe in you and your ability to keep moving forward on the path to recovery. Just try to take it one day at a time.
Sincerely,
Kim

Hi Lea,
No need to apologize, I think I understand your comment just fine. Thank you for sharing your story--those dreams sound pretty intense, and I imagine they must be difficult to cope with at times. Since you self-harm in real life as well, I think it is safe to assume your dreams are a direct result of that--though please do keep in mind, I am not a licensed clinician and cannot formally interpret your dreams for you. What I will say is this: it seems like your dreams *may* be reflecting some of the intense feelings that often accompany self-harm. As such, they may be your mind's way of trying to work through those feelings while you sleep.
我知道你self-ha提到,没有人知道rm, and I would never say you "have" to come out to a friend or family member if you're not ready yet. But I can tell you from experience that it's all at least a bit easier to cope with--and eventually recover from--when you have at least one person you can talk to about it. If you don't want to discuss it with anyone in your social circle, therapy might be a good solution. It sounds like maybe you are still living at home, and maybe still in school? If this is the case, you might want to see if your school has a counselor you can speak to (for free) without drawing any unwanted attention from your family or friends.
If not, there are also many free hotlines and even anonymous online support groups you can join that might give you a good place to find some support. This resource page might be a good place to start looking://www.5wetown.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…
And here is more info about self-harm, in case you might find that helpful as well://www.5wetown.com/abuse/self-injury/self-injury-homepage
As someone who didn't speak up about my self-injury for a long time, I completely understand the desire to keep it to yourself. I also know that I know nothing about your family or your beliefs; as such, I can't say whether it would be good for you to speak with them about what you're going through or not. But having *someone* in your corner, even a stranger, can make so much more of a difference than you might think.
At the very least, know that I wish you all the best and hope you find some peace of mind--in your waking life and your sleeping one--soon. Please feel free to keep commenting; I'll be here, answering as often as I can.
Sincerely,
Kim