你爱上虐待你的人了吗?如果是这样，那是有原因的

我和我的前任经历了长达13年的虐待关系，几年前我终于离开了他。从那以后我开始了一段新的恋情。我的问题是，我真的没有在精神上向前看，我觉得我对现在和我在一起的人很不公平。我总是想起我的施虐者，我很难过地说我仍然爱着他，但这是我自己的事。我为我仍然对他有这种感觉而感到羞愧和尴尬。我真的没有一个可以说话的人，因为我们在一起的时候，我不允许有朋友或家人在我身边。我们没有在一起，但我仍然像我们在一起一样生活。不知道如何摆脱这种生活方式。我仍然等待着有人告诉我每天该做什么，当没有人告诉我该做什么的时候，我感到很失落。我去做我想做的事，我害怕，就像我要惹上麻烦一样。 Afraid to talk to anyone really before if I did I would be beaten and told what happens behind these doors stays behind these doors. How do I break free? I have no family and no friends and I’m afraid if I tell my spouse it will upset him. He’s a good man and deserves better.

我19岁时遇到了虐待我的人，22岁时我嫁给了他，生了两个孩子。我现在27岁了，在所有的谎言和辱骂之后，我勉强离开他两天前，他把我打得屁滚滚打，因为我选择离开。我不想撒谎，我害怕接下来会发生的事情，即使我仍然爱他，关心他，我知道我必须为了我自己和我的孩子放手。当他在精神上和身体上虐待我时，我总是知道显而易见的，但我总是对他视而不见。我有时会害怕没有他，也会为他没有我而快乐而悲伤，但我正尽可能地向前推进

我受够了看到我读到的所有关于家庭暴力的文章都假设男人是施暴者。我最终不得不逃离我的施虐者，在重症监护室呆了几个星期。三年过去了，我还在恢复中。我永久性毁容了，和人见面时很尴尬。对我这么做的人很有钱，在社区里关系很好。遭受家庭暴力的男性没有发言权。如果你在网上寻求帮助，只有讽刺。在第一段中，你不能假设施虐者是一个男人。我差点被一个女人的暴力行为夺去了生命她用金钱、性和操纵手段把我和我认识的人隔离开来。我完全不知道发生了什么，直到她开始告诉我，我必须忍受她所做的一切，因为她付了账单。 I worked so hard to try to make myself worthy of what she gave me, and she was always dismissive. When I finally made plans to leave, she held a gun to my face, and said “Is this what you want from me?”
在她扣动扳机后，我破碎流血的脸对她说的第一句话是“我爱你”。我希望这样说能让她明白，我只是想成为一个好伴侣。现在，我每天都在一次又一次地重温那一刻。
我是一名战斗老兵。在此之前，我从未经历过如此伤害我的事，而我满脑子想的都是我是如何毁了她的生活。

我遇到了最棒的性感迷人的自恋狂。他是完美的。在身体上，他拥有所有的“优点”，而且他肯定能做到。一天下午，他和他的朋友杰伊骑着他们的Hyabusa摩托车，穿着运动背心来到我的办公室。像个女学生一样，我立刻对摩托车产生了兴趣。我注意到他盯着我看，我们目光接触的强烈程度几乎让我震惊。他基本上是一只狼，我是他的羊。我当时没有意识到，但他很清楚自己在做什么。交换了电话号码，聊了几个星期后，我们开始约会。就像普通夫妻一样。 We'd go out to dinner and meet up with his friends for things...but time passed about 5 months and I realized I have only met one of his children...I had never been to his place...and he never spoke highly of his mother. I am a working proffessional and was rather busy with my job and raising my own child. But red flags were exposed and I just went color blind. I started to investigate him online. Its amazing what you can do with this social media these days. Anyway come to pass that he is actually a married man. Not a separated one who had a WIFE that left him and went to live with her mother , it wasn't hard to put his wife's name through face book. I see this picture pop up on the screen of this guy who tells me he loved me and, get ready for the "cliche" We Are Soul Mates ,and was confused and hurt and very very Angry. I wanted him caught. Busted. I bet you are thinking would I Send information to his wife via social media, yep sure did. But to my surprise nothing happened. I never told him I did it...he didn't even get caught? So now I knew he was still married, I knew I was lied to, I knew he never got busted or I would've been called out, I had real true feelings for him, and I knew they were all wrong. I was being played. I was the other woman. Holy s***! So I decided he could just go on be married. I didn't want to keep being a mistress. And that's when the on again off again push and pull really began. He would get enough control over me to secure a key to my home. He had free reign. He was after all my soulmate? He became possessive, he began to say things like "b**** if you ever try to leave me, I'll f****** kill you." Breaking up with him over and over, changing my job, changing phone numbers depressingly often. He always came back. Usually no longer than a week. He would show up at my job with *** or whoever he wanted to. And I had to be proffessional and smile. He had me emotionally and mentally trapped. When it began to get physical, well let's just say a few busted lips and black eyes later, you know from my good old soul mate, I began to realize the depths of which I had fallen. He doesn't love me. Love doesn't feel like that. He doesn't love anyone. He can't. The final straw, he strangled me in front of my 16 year old daughter. He decided to enter my place one morning and he forgot my kid was out of school for summer vacay. We start arguing about our relationship or lack thereof and I knew he had other girlfriends besides me so I was trying to end it once and for all...that's when all the love in the world couldn't have saved me from what his hands would do. On the ground struggling for my life, in and out of consciousness trying to pry this 6'3 220 lb man built of pure muscle off of my body was an impossible feat. Then my hero, the child who is afraid of her own shadow, comes out to the living room to see what the commotion is...well she sees this wildabeast on her mother suffocating her and she jumps on his back. She gave me enough time and distraction to get away out from under him. And that was heartbreaking. To know that if my child would have had 1 more day of school, if she wouldn't have been home that particular morning of June...I would not be here. The police were called this time. All of the other abuse was just leading up to this...I went to court several times, my daughter took the stand as a witness, he was found guilty, serving 150 days in the county jail as I type this. I actually feel sorry for his real family. His other girlfriend did in fact make contact with me via social media, they have a daughter that he has never told his wife about, and he's never paid child support for, she decided to contact his entire family and his in laws, they all know what's happened. So this story is really about being abused and getting to be free from abuse. People will only do to you what you allow them to do. I never wanted to fall in love with a narcissistic abusive sociopath. No one does. But you must love yourself enough to know what you will not accept. God bless you. Good luck.

谷歌一下就知道了…感觉和读的一样
之前回复。给人的印象是如此的女性化。男人也会经历这些……无论是身体上的还是情感上的，但这似乎都是因为男人从一开始就很坏……这不是. .双方都需要帮助。更重要的是，男人可以看到这一周…家庭使用是双向的。

我和我的未婚夫在一起快4年了，我们现在有一个一岁的小女孩。在过去的三年里，他一直打我，但我似乎无法离开。我太爱他了，我无法想象和别人在一起的样子，但我害怕他最后会杀了我或我的小女孩。每次他出现我都不知道该怎么做，我带他回去，不管我知道我不应该，我只是不能说不，因为我太爱他了。

我希望我能离开我丈夫。我才24岁，我18岁就跟他在一起了。

我离开了我的施虐者，但我的美好时光和被虐待的时光总是闪现在脑海中。我感觉从“爱情轰炸”中撤退，不断的奖励，然后没有理由的惩罚，除了他编造的理由生气。他有精神疾病，所以我试着帮助他，理解他。但我只是想帮忙却被暴打了一顿。随着时间的推移，我被洗脑了，我认为“因为惹他生气”而受到严厉对待和攻击是我应得的。但我内心深处知道，他生气的这些事情不是我的错。我会被设计成失败，这样他就有理由虐待我。他试图使我与朋友和家人疏远。即使有人生你的气，你也没有理由骂你坏话，骂你坏话，骂你虐待你。他试图让我相信我在虐待他，因为当我们订婚并住在一起时他使用约会网站时，我会很生气。 Also I would not go along with his tactic to make everyone hate my mother on Thanksgiving. When I look back on all the things he tried to make me believe were wrong for me to get upset about I get very angry. I was being treated horrible and it made me feel like I’m not worthy of love. But he tried to make me believe that how he treated me was normal and that there’s something wrong with me. If I feel betrayed alienated manipulated and abused by my fiancé then there isn’t something wrong with me.

你好，珍，我对你所经历的一切和你现在的感受感到很抱歉。我鼓励你联系我们页面上的一个生命线号码，帮助你更深入地了解正在发生的事情://www.5wetown.com/suicide/suicide-hotline-phone-numbers/同时，我鼓励大家看看我们关于家庭暴力的资源://www.5wetown.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer..。你丈夫在心理上虐待你。家庭暴力资源中心可以帮助你找到离开这段关系所需的步骤。你不需要独自承受这一切。有很多人和组织可以帮助你。谢谢你有勇气伸出援手。请多保重。克里斯汀

我丈夫跟踪我好几年了，我屈服了，嫁给了他，因为他是个白痴，而且[软弱]。他总是说我有自杀倾向，尽管我没有。我想他是想让我感到沮丧，因为这有效。我正试着离开，这真的很难，他比我长得帅，而且是个恶霸，而且更强壮，所以我需要切断与他的联系，我害怕我拿不到我的东西。我可能得申请限制令，因为这只猫太吓人了，把我最坏的一面激发出来了，反之亦然。如果他是对的，我就该自杀，反正没人爱我。

我和施虐者分分合合了5年。一个月前，我带着我的孩子们离开了这个地方。他威胁要杀了我，威胁要把孩子从我身边夺走，说我一文不值，还有其他侮辱性的名字，他把我推来推去，打我。我承认我一直对自己，对爱自己有不安全感。他让事情变得更糟，现在我彻底崩溃了。他还是能打动我，我还是在乎他，我还是爱他。但我不得不离开，因为我的大女儿会对我或我的父母说他很可怕之类的话。我永远不会忘记他把孩子从我怀里抱出来时的样子，当他大喊大叫时的样子。我为了孩子离开了。但我总是很害怕事后怀疑自己。 What if I communicated better? He thought I lied all the time. I did withhold the truth at times just to keep the peace. I still feel guilty for some reason. He said he gets angry because I'm a liar. I never did it maliciously. I did it bc I didn't want him to be mad at me....whether it was me taking the blame bc my daughter broke something. Or me lying about visiting friends. My friends tried to like him, and I did tell my best friends about things going on, bc I couldn't talk to him about it. If I did he would leave me feeling stupid, or get mad, or just leave me feeling invalidated. He knows how to get to me. Knows how to hurt me. How do I stop second guessing myself? How do I get rid of the feelings I have for him....even if he did make me feel so miserable at times? How at 30 years old do I began to love myself, to not feel numb, to pick up the pieces? I just want to be ok again.

我15岁的时候，我的老师一个40多岁的男人开始用一种顽皮的方式抚摸我的身体。那不是摩擦什么的。有一次我答不出这道数学题，他对我很粗鲁，然后当我快哭出来的时候，他突然拥抱了我。我去洗了脸，从浴室出来，发现他在等我。然后他开始拥抱我，把我扔起来。这很奇怪，我离开了。几个月后，我回到他身边，因为他很有魅力。他对我做的那些身体上的事让我感觉很不舒服。我从来没有被他吸引过。他说他的经历很特别，我相信了他。 We were together for many years. A year ago I broke up with him. He never tried to hurt me physically or anything. He didn’t have sex with me that much. He always seemed to mystic. He was the intellectual type which drew me towards him in the first place. I just wanted to learn from him. I didn’t want him to touch me. This is still so mind boggling to me. Explain please somebody.

事实上，女孩更倾向于操纵和毁掉她们认为软弱的男人。我曾经经历过一段严重的虐待关系。她给我发了毒品的照片，就像她要吸毒过量一样，想从我这里得到回应。一个会记分、会操纵别人、会让你看起来很糟糕、把你当笑话、不尊重你的女孩是你需要远离的人。来自女性的虐待被低估了，这篇文章需要让双方都听到。

我也有同样的问题。我女朋友利用这些前女友利用我以前分享的一切来对付我。她手机里有一张消极攻击清单，上面都是我惹她生气的事。她记分，把一切都推到我头上。我所有的男性朋友都离开了我，因为他们认为我软弱。当你和一个虐待你的人在一起时，这很糟糕，快跑!!

你们这些作家总是认为施虐者是个男的。我是一个被女友虐待的男人。修改你的文章，让它适用于每个人。

我的已经不那么糟糕了，但还是会发生。有时候和他分享我的感受是安全的，有时候我不安全。安全的感觉是，我可以说任何事情，而不会让他对我施加压力，变得被动攻击，对我或我的孩子做出反应，不会在心理上扰乱我，诸如此类。他不会在身体上虐待我，但会在身体上攻击我，伤害我。总之，在我找机会再次和他谈谈我为什么是这样之后。他基本上说他做的都不够好，还问我想从他那里得到什么?在这之后，我确实试着去接近他。现在我明白为什么会这样了。