作者介绍克里斯汀Milstead辱骂的关系

我是一个语言和情感虐待的受害者。
我从来不知道有这样的事,直到最近。
你的文章我读了一些健康的地方,他们真的让我感觉更好——不管有多少女性,受害者仍感到孤独。似乎没有人真正理解我。
我很高兴谷歌长大这个网站当我寻找帮助。我没有任何的朋友离开,他就把它吓飞了。我的意思是,他并没有告诉他们走开,但他垄断我的时间,所以他们不再想花时间与我。他一直试图让我的朋友和他的朋友的女朋友,因为我真的不觉得与那些女士的联系,我只是成了习惯没有朋友。

我是一个言语虐待的受害者。这不是发生在数月,但慢慢多年。我和我的高中甜心二十五年了。那些年的最后17岁嫁给了他。我的故事是一个他们可以变成一个恐怖电影。我是一个独生女,除了我哥哥比我大十七岁。生活是美丽的,直到我的第七年。我的弟弟在一次事故中被杀。我被悲伤和妈妈失去了她的感情。她把她所有的爱和关注倒进我的侄女当时两人。 She quit speaking to me with her soft loving voice, that was reserved only for my niece. From then on my mother was a very angry person and very negative. My father thru all this kept quiet and started drinking more. As a child I felt more in the way, unwanted. So I spent most of my time at my bestfriend’s home. Her mother would tuck us in at night and kiss our foreheads. The first time made me cry. Oh how I wished my mom would love me again.
快进到我的高中。我已经见过我的未来丈夫在同年级的时候。我们是男朋友和女朋友只有一会儿。然后我开始高中我们开始约会了。他进入军队和期间完成。我知道我一定会想念他的。但我不知道有多少。我身体不适,我错过了很多学校。我只找到了爱再离开我。我现在看一切都很清楚。 A young girl that needed to feel loved. We broke up two years later when he married a philipino woman 8 years older than him. After crying my heart out for a few days I got angry. Any boy that looked my way I would destroy. It took a year to smile again. Another two years later he was discharged from the service. She did not come with him, she had caught the eye of an officer. I was dropping off his little sister, who also hung out at my best friends, at her parents home. He walked to the door and I was shocked at how thin and pale he was. I heard he had some type of break down, but never heard anything more about it. When I was nineteen we moved in together. He was always “protective” and didn’t want me around certain people. I thought it was because he loved me so much. We did everything together. I could visit my girlfriends for a couple hours but be home before dark. “So he wouldn’t worry”! He’d come into the store I worked at to take me on breaks all the time. He knew when my breaks would be, my lunches, back then he kept me on a short rope. I still didn’t see it. I thought it had everything to do with love. He was in charge of our finances, all of them. His logic to me was, if there was a mistake we’d know who to blame. He did everything, I mean everything except laundry, and dishes. He cooked, grocery shopped every Sunday morning while I slept in. He always got up early. Sounds like I was a princess. There is a dark side to this story. If he was upset over anything I’d become his whipping post. Once I was making a stew just the way mom made it. He got home from work, grabbed the ketchup bottle and squeezed half of it in my stew then tasted it. Through the spoon down and said, “tastes like shit”! Stormed out of our apartment. I was devastated, what did I do? Why would he treat me this way? There were numerous times like this sped out through the seven years we lived together. So it didn’t seem like it was anything bad. Then we got married. I got pregnant six months after the wedding . He pampered me, over fed me, but would still lose his temper from time to time. Usually over something stupid. When Sara was born, he was a very proud dad. As she grew I noticed I was in charge of the diaper changing and he was setting all the rules. He started telling me, “Don’t think honey, it just gets you in trouble”. He had a job where it was flexible enough for him to make it to all her school functions, while mine wasn’t so easy. He just took over. I never knew what was going on. He slowly started talking down to me. Started jokingly, then got meaner and meaner. Our daughter watching all this as she grew up. While she was little she loved her mommy. But after starting school and the older she got the further she drifted from me. Now I know why! We moved out to my mothers property so I could take care of mom. She deeded everything to me so we could get a loan on a new modular. He knew I was paranoid about getting in over our heads and losing the place where I grew up. He reassured me nothing like that would happen, yeah right. Our daughter wouldn’t do the dishes one night when I asked her to so I grounded her, she was 13. When he got home from work he asked why I was doing them and I told him. She came out of her room and was standing there while I told him I grounded her. He started laughing and looked at her and said, “honey you don’t have to listen to your mother.” I never could recover any authority with her after that. I questioned what was my purpose in this life. I had no voice, I had to ask before I did anything. He found something wrong with everything I did. I had no self esteem, or self worth, I was nothing. The doctor put me on two different antidepressants that helped a little. I excelled at my jobs. I only had three during our twenty five years together. I asked him once why he thought I did everything wrong when I was very efficient at work. They kept training me to do more and more . ( I worked for a doctor.). He told me I was one of those people that just wasn’t good at taking care of family and home. He also told me over and over I was lucky to have him because no one else would ever love me. I remember there was a time I stuttered for awhile during one of his long relentless rages that went on for days. He’d be angry when he’d get home from work and inform me I was going to have a bad weekend. I’d just start crying.
现在人们会说,你为什么不离开他呢?恐惧,我没有控制,他是我的奴隶的主人。他威胁要离开我,然后告诉我我要怎样失去一切在大街上。然后我哭自己睡觉醒来眼睛肿胀几乎关闭。他会填一个水槽用冷水,加冰块。跟我真正的温柔,从不道歉,告诉我他改变了主意,他不会离开我。我知道这听起来很疯狂,但是我想我爱他,我做到了。但是我想我不能没有他独自生存。他告诉我要做什么。
他决定去工作与承包公司在伊拉克的战场。他将喷涂的白蛉携带疾病。虽然他在那里升级那么快到史上最糟糕的地狱,他让我通过。他每天晚上7点钟打电话。我最好的答案。他会在我流泪,告诉我如果他那边被杀,那将是我的错。一天晚上,我失去了我的心灵,开始尖叫,我从来没有。我同意他都给我打电话,告诉他他会更好,没有我所以我是再也不会去打扰他了还是跟他说再见。我不会接电话好几天。他的一个旧同事停了,问我是不是好的。 My husband had called him. So we started talking again a little. But he started it again. This time I did quit talking to him. He was due to fly home i just had surgery and when he got there I told him to leave. I was numb. Something inside of me broke. A week later he came home to stay and I noticed he was shaking all over and asked where his gun was at. I told him it was put up and safe. He insisted on seeing it, that’s when I left. I stayed at a friends house. He tried to get me alone one night there at the house on a Saturday. He had our mattresses outside set up and made up with my sheets and blankets doused in lighter fluid then covered with a tarp so it didn’t evaporate before he could light them. He had a plane ticket already bought to fly to Puerto Rico to visit his mom and sister scheduled the next morning for the first flight out. That airport he left from was three hours drive away. I know in my heart I would have died that night. Two weeks later he committed suicide. His suicide notes he left blamed me for everything. Said to save his daughter from me, and that I was buried in debt. Made it sound like I was the bully. I was 44 years old at the time. Never dreamed I’d be a widow at 44. I was so lost for over two years until I slowly, very slowly started to have a clear mind. The things I learned after his death were hard to deal with. Other women, not just one or two. So many lies. I am now 56 and I will never remarry. I still suffer from issues he has scared me with. There is so much more to my story, this is just the tip of the iceberg. He came back from Iraq mentally unstable. Outside of our home everyone thought he was such a wonderful guy, but those that were close to him knew. He used to joke about me being his whipping post, saying, “We always get over it”! We? I never got over it. These wounds go deep. It was a gradual progression into hell over twenty five years. So, yes I do feel I am a victim of emotional verbal abuse.
谢谢你听。对不起这是这么长时间。