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的人会被滥用后你

2012年9月27日凯莉乔冬青

施虐者必须找到新的受害者——不是新的爱,新的受害者。疼时想象他们可以爱一个人不能爱你,但错误是以为这就是爱。

紫色是准备离开那个虐待她的丈夫约翰了,几乎。她挣扎的婚姻出现问题,但我感觉到她已经一只脚出了门。她问她的评论,

“我认为关于他的会议别人;如果他对她是好的呢?她比我更好吗?我认识的一个人解决这个问题,但这是我的一个真正的恐惧。我让他这样做吗?”

我让他这样做?

十五天之后离开我的丈夫,我来到了一个强大的实现。我写在我的博客这就是我说:

你看,曾几何时,我相信当他说我让他生气的事情。我使他大喊。我使他进入一个$ $洞模式。我让他想打我。我让他把我给切下来。我让他使用物理力量征服我。我一定以为我以为我是相当强大,能够旋转,人在这样的恐慌,他将证明自己的行为归咎于我。

有另一面如此全能的和强大的。我可以让他的意思,甚至仇恨,复仇的…但我不能让他爱我,我不能让他尊重我或者对我好。有什么意义的“无所不能”当你的“权力”只对你工作吗?

事实是,我想让他爱我对我来说,没有工作的时候,我以为他会爱我孩子的母亲。不起作用时,我变成了房子夫人他说他想要我。在这个过程中,我试图成为他的母亲,他MawMaw,他的阿姨;我甚至尝试是“更像”别人他会告诉我。我想让他爱我,我不能这样做。

为什么我购买,我可以让他生气了?

我想相信我可以让他感觉的东西比承认他永远不会感觉怎么样给我。我以为里面是破碎的我,我可以解决。我强迫自己进入符合抑郁症的认为,底部的坑,我想找到的东西让我不可爱的人。一旦我发现它,我想我可以摘下,处理它,然后上升到表面的自己发现他能爱我。

想知道为什么我花了这么长时间找东西坏了(我的内心)…我知道我想要一个幸福的婚姻,一个爱的丈夫,一个亲密的家庭。我希望我希望我结婚的时候,是他生活的一部分,与他分享我自己和我的礼物相信我们彼此补充,在一起,我们是不可阻挡的。我想这如此糟糕,我困在近18年来试图创建它。

下面的这一切,我们想知道我们可爱的。滥用说服我们,我们不可爱,不讨人喜欢。滥用说服我们聊天和其他人可以看到它。滥用使我们蒙羞,西姆斯和暗淡的光神对我们意味着让全世界看到闪闪发亮。

施虐者环绕我们的光一开始像一个蛾火焰。施虐者想要的我们,就像我们,因为他们认为我们可以与他们分享我们的光,并“让”他们更好。滥用当施虐者意识到没有人开始,具体地说不是他们的受害者,光线明亮,照亮自己的黑暗。,在这一点上,相信我的人生活在一个黑暗的地方。

如果他对她是好的呢?她比我更好吗?

你虐待配偶会发现另一个从另一个人光闪耀,像蛾火焰召唤它们。你走了之后,你的施虐者可以不再相信口头上,情感上,或抽光了你的身体。你的施虐者可能不知道他们第一次看到你,看到你的光褪色的如此彻底。你的施虐者不会理解的滥用的影响导致你的光褪色,他们肯定不会等在他们的黑暗,看看你的光明重新点燃。

你的施虐者会发现另一个人明晃晃地照耀着大地。你的施虐者会哇他新的光与爱的行动,甜言蜜语;似乎你的施虐者将新的光像来自天堂的礼物。新的光可能会很像你

新的光并不比你。当然,现在你可能会感到挫败感,但你的光正在好转。你是回到你是谁,总是。但是你的施虐者的新光在黑暗。你可能不会看到它发生,因为如果你还记得,虐待一个秘密。你不再允许看到ex-abuser的内心世界因为你被赶出。

但是你知道。

请记住,尽管你ex-abuser的意见你,虐待总是错误的判断。滥用试图杀死什么生活当爱培育生命。爱自己没有滥用的培育。它引导你新见解。你意识到没有人比或不到,我们都只是试图照耀我们的灯。你治愈。你相信你自己,任何疼痛引起的看到你的施虐者与一个新的受害者消退到真理的光。

APA的参考
乔,k(2012年9月27日)。的人会被滥用后,HealthyPlace。检索2023年3月26日,从//www.5wetown.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships/2012/09/the-one-abused-after-you



作者:凯莉乔冬青

受伤的女孩
2021年10月18日上午34

我和施虐者是9年了. .直到4星期前. .正是三天前我的生日。的是. .我had no idea I was being abused until that moment..3days before my birthday he hurt my feelings and I told him to leave..he stated he slept at train station that night when he rang me when I was parked out side the chipper.he says ..you hungry..and I was cold answering him like yes and he got very icy and said..oh forget it and hung up.i rang the following day and he said his phone was off because he was in the pub..of course I got upset because I spent hours looking for him in case something was wrong..day of my birthday I called up to his parents house and he ran me from the door..told me he hated me and being with me for 9years was hell and that to move on because he was going to get with someone else soon as he told me..I can't be on my own..that's who I am. So he did just that..got someone else and I seen them in his car driving around town. It did hurt me.last few days I started to remember when it first began..the grooming.he said I can get a women as I'm gorgeous..any women..s9 he takes out his phone and shows me a video of an women doing the deed and she had a beautiful body.flat tummy etc..and it looked like his hands in the video.so I got a bit paranoid..skip on that night or a few nights later..I was looking for my pjs in the closer and I was bent over..so rolls and all wouldve been on display but I didn't think he would of been watching me..I got back to bed and he looked like he was sleeping and there was my phone with a picture of me from the closet on my side of the bed..I asked why are you pretending to be asleep and take this photo but I can't remember what he said..I only remember the shame of how I looked(compared to the video)few nights later we were playing strip poker in the sitting room in front of fire.his idea..and then when it reached to where I was in my underwear..he got so icy and said..cover yourself up..this also got to my self esteem..when another time I did something sexual to him..he said to me days later..oh you did that to me..how many other guys did you do that to..also getting to my self esteem. I moved out of my house then to another as he said there was so no privacy there(I regret so bad)I gained nearly 3 stone in a matter of months and was very depressed..but never linked it to the arguments always being my fault...he also knew ant my ex who physically beat me and I told him in confidence to which one day he through it back at me..no wonder he hit you or did he even and your lying..self esteem..pain despair ..you can imagine how my brain felt.id jump in the morning because I was walking on eggshells all the time.i was getting very sick..ibs and sore throat..allergy reactions ...everything..but because he said he was innocent and it was all me.i believed it..soon before the break up..I started to pull back a little.. stopped making dinners for him because he never pulled his weight..stopped letting him use my bank account because he had his own..I am mentally drained with my own mind each day..having intrusive ocd and anxiety.and I also have an autistic child which is a lot for me to cope with at times along with trying to make him happy.no matter how I tried it was never good enough..never pleased..even at the very end..I meant nothing to him...if I didn't feel like in the mood to go upstairs to do things after having a hard day..I would get asked repeatedly.what are you good for..over and over..it's just so sad to me to think that someone who I trusted went out of their way to hurt me...I got bullied also in my past and I am very sensitive..so to find out it all wasn't real and just a perception.that hurts.to be afraid to leave on the immersion because of esb bill..or jump when he yelled over something silly and never wanted to speak to me about anything only about himself..

洋子
2022年9月3日凌晨2时30分

2021年8月6日是天然而滥用终于平息,它并没有结束,因为他是2的步骤之前,我感觉就像和我最终被控加重攻击罪——不管他打我那么糟糕,甚至有枪。一年之后,我仍然处理自卫的“后果”——但我做的一件事,我感激是从未经历的能力,又看到了红旗在为时过晚之前。他提出控告我,我拿出一个禁令,让我是肇事者,然而没有人知道,关起门来他在精神上,情感上,最终身体虐待我。他用枪,威胁我的生命与无生命的物体&持续了部分我的自尊与他的错误的指控。一开始很甜…(梳理阶段)——我觉得我遇到我的灵魂伴侣,他对我来说是如此甜蜜。然后他开始嫉妒小事情——我,他喜欢的个性变得“太友好”对他来说,我穿着性感从“令人生厌”,我很高兴他质疑——“你还有谁这样做? !“…我所做的一切成为一个问题。我太敏感…我太情绪化…我太沮丧…每天,最终成为情感过山车。他开始远离我,我的直觉告诉我,他是作弊,因为数量的次他指责我欺骗他…即使我没有他也没有任何真正的理由相信因为我真的满足我朝他的整个人生。当一切都说,他被困在我家里做,打我成脑震荡,然后扮演了受害者。到今天我一直在想如果他会以责任为他做些什么,但我知道,像他这样的人不相信问责制。 I know he’s moved on with someone else… Or he’s been dating and it’s so tempting to reach out and tell them about the monster that he really is… Especially since he comes across so cool calm and collective . His manipulation tactics scare me until this day . i’m healing though. I’m finally finding that light inside of me and it may not be right now… Or a few weeks from now… Or even a year from now that I feel 100% OK again but I will eventually. My light is going to come back.

2022年9月12日36点

你好洋子,我谢丽尔Wozny、当前作者博客言语虐待的关系。谢谢你的开放和分享你的故事。说真话需要勇气对你的情况。我很高兴听到你已经开始疗愈旅程。采取适当的措施,找到和平对于创造一个健康的生活是至关重要的。请访问我们的资源页面//www.5wetown.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…帮助热线咨询资源的更多信息。

匿名
2019年10月15日下午开场

哇,这是一个非常有趣的文章。我和我的前女友一年多。我们开始长途但是他说服我去他的城市,婚姻的承诺。我搬进了他和“滥用”的行为开始。它没有物理但总是口头。诸如“你需要减肥”(我是125磅),“少吃”,“好看”变成了家常便饭。每次我将回到他的时候,他会说他说的这一切都是因为他爱我,照顾我。我继续下跌,甚至从不怀疑他的意图。在这段时间里,他多次向我求婚。我总是不停地说“让我们给它至少一年之前的飞跃。” He seemed to agree.
情感虐待持续——“你为什么这么敏感?”"why do you always pick a fight?" "you are so negative all the time" "stop whining". I tend to be very emotional and start crying when things seem out of control, while he had a very cool and collected demeanor. Every fight/argument ended with me feeling bad as being the perpetrator of it all. I was desperate to change myself and make things better. When I discovered that he was still active on dating profiles (after being together for 1 year), instead of confronting him, I decided to blame myself and try to love him even more. I wanted to show him that I could change and be a better partner.
当他跟我做,他虚反射我的蓝色——是的,ghost我。拒绝回答我的电话或者回复我的消息。我感觉自己像一个可怕的人,希望他不惜任何代价。我强迫他去见我最后一次作为一种手段的“关闭”。We met and he said "he's busy with work and doesn't have time for a relationship any more". I was completely heart-broken. I had invested so much in this relationship and he didn't even blink before kicking me to the curb. At the time of that breakup, I accepted his decision and started to work on myself. All this time, hoping if I'd become a better person, he'd come back. We continued texting for a few months after the break up and then I stopped responding to him. Fast forward a few months later, I discovered that he had gotten engaged to someone else within 2 months of breaking up with me!!!!!!! This is while we were still texting each other, he was getting engaged. He refused to mention the presence of another woman in his life. I was devastated at the news of this "sudden" engagement. It was unclear whether he met her after we broke up or if there was overlap between us.
我决定做两件事:
(我)面对他突然转变——大胆的给我打电话,但没有回答任何问题当他遇到了这个新的女人或者为什么他没有披露涉及其他人。跟他说话让我意识到他不认为他的行为有什么不妥(从他对待我或他的失败让我知道他的参与)。我不知道这是可能的,施虐者没有意识到自己的行为的影响。
(2)告知他的时间和强度的关系。她从来没有回应过我(我清楚地意识到,他可能有他的“陷阱”,使我看起来像疯狂的心怀不满的前女友)。事实上,妻子有一个朋友的消息我告诉我,他们都是非常幸福的在一起,我应该让他们孤独。
这一切都发生在几个星期前。我还处理发生了什么——有人从提出到你如何能不间断(当你住在一起)订婚别人(现在结婚了)。我没有看到他的虐待大自然直到现在。当我反思他的行为,我感到畏缩。在看到他们的婚礼照片,我几乎感到一种释然的感觉,这不是我。如果我和他度过我的余生,不亚于一个无期徒刑。
现在我开始我的复苏之路。我没有对这个人的尊重,也没有同情他的妻子。我只是希望他对待他的妻子,并真诚希望我是他的最后一个受害者。

匿名
5月,1 2021 7:57点吗

相同的情况发生在我身上!然而我们在一起7年了。我花了所有的时间希望他能看到我的价值,以完全给我。一年前他离开了我,但仍然在和我联系,我生命的进出每两个月一次。他声称他想回家,最后只给我他所有的消失,第二天回到新女性。当然当我去他instagram页面我发现一周后他甚至不向她求婚。Idk一些男人可以给另一个女人如何在这么短的时间内我乞求他的所有东西,所有那些年。它就像一个巴掌打在脸上,他享受

C
2021年8月,6 42点

我希望他们得到他们应得的东西。我和我的前女友超过5年,“参与”了3年,他经常答应我婚姻和孩子。我终于离开了因为作弊。他现在结婚有了孩子,只有周以来我们在一起:(我知道我更好,因为他非常的但很难不认为她是更好的…她的年轻,她比我瘦,我承诺的一切。我和他是当他一无所有之后,一切都和现在才像样的钱他给了她一切。他甚至买房子。我希望有正义,因为它太不公平了。

茉莉花
2019年10月9日国际机场起飞

有人可以请给我一些见解-
滥用精神,情感和身体上被我的前夫施虐者。最有关的部分,我怀上了孩子。滥用开始在开始和身体暴力升级和有力的监禁在我的房子里,当我怀孕的进展。
我女儿3个月后我逃脱了。
在另一个关系我的施虐者直接我离开后。我天真的以为如果我警告她关于他的虐待她她最终的命运。
女人当然不相信我,甚至是骂我。但1.5年后,她的邮件我说,”他反复打我,打了我的胃,现在我在治疗创伤后应激障碍。我相信他可以向上帝忏悔。”But after i responded (i suggeated she go "no contact" for her safety) she ended up forwarding my emails to my ex abuser and told me to never email her again? She also stated she was trying to work things out with him?
最近我发现他们一起回来。我知道,当一个家庭暴力受害者返回到施虐者,滥用变得更糟,所以我担心她的生活(他威胁要杀了我之前)。另一部分是——她不会帮助我提供他的位置。我没能够申请拘留或财政援助,因为我的施虐者是瞬态。我问她给我他的位置,所以我可以保护我自己和我的女儿。她拒绝了。
我的主要问题是:
1。什么时候是一个女人自满的滥用(妍看到虐待/恐怖威胁他不断地给我,并承认她自己的经历虐待我)她不值得。但她有足够的知识和经验对她虐待他的,我和我的女儿,她怎么能继续支持他吗?
2。我怎么能睁一只眼闭一只眼,知道发生了什么她....而不是试图做点什么?我不能控制任何人,除了我自己,但我几乎不能睡觉知道所有这一切。

2019年10月12日在11:15

嗨爱。我真的很抱歉,你已经经历了这一切,这是一个非常困难的事情。我很高兴你不再虐待关系中的自己,你能够找到你的出路。我认为,虽然这是毁灭性的让你看到另一个人的经历,它可能是重要的要记住,并不是每个人都认为他们所经历的伤害,直到他们有机会离开,也许她还没有那一刻。我为你骄傲,试图帮助别人是你知道得很好。它可以令人沮丧,但是我明白了一个重要教训是,没有人能帮助到他们意识到他们想要帮助自己。我知道这是一个可怕的情况遵循这个建议,我希望她知道,她可以依靠你,如果她有一天决定她想离开。这是很常见的,人们的经验关系,因为有很多操作涉及的施虐者是非常困难的。你自己提供给她,独自,我希望可以给你一些和平。爱和光明,Katlyn。

阿加莎
2019年1月15日凌晨1:11

我在20年的不幸婚姻当“他”施虐者,让我神魂颠倒。我的丈夫把我的婚姻家庭一旦我告诉他,我们已经结束,我想要离婚。我曾要求离婚几个月以前会议的施虐者。我直的施虐者。他刚刚洒与他以前的合作伙伴。他告诉我她虐待他。我相信他说的一切。他告诉我他没有做事务,如果我们继续我们的关系,然后我应该结束婚姻。这是我做的。前几周/也许2个月我们生活在一个幸福的泡沫。 I then started to see an angry side to him. How quick he could turn. Then His anger turned towards me. He didn’t trust me. He went on to abuse me mentally, physically and also financially. Insisting I pay for most things. My light dimmed. I couldn’t bear to look at myself in the mirror, during the last few weeks that we was together. My inner voice was screaming for it all to stop, and when I looked in the mirror, I knew I was lying to the person staring back at me. I discovered in the end he had contacted his ex previous to me and wanted to see her again. I left. I waked out one Day in November, as I knew if I didn’t walk I would of been pushed. I moved away from my children and friends 10 weeks ago. Me and the abuser still had contact throughout these weeks. He confessed that during our 6 months together he still loved her. He came to see me at my new town for one night. Told me he still wanted me but also her as well..I ended the mindF@ck就在两周前,告诉他,现在已经没有联系。我这个周末回家,回到我的旧的婚姻生活,重新开始。我丈夫不喜欢住在那里了,我觉得我做了一个完整的圆。但是我的光又开始亮,现在我可以看着自己的眼睛。

贝丝
2020年11月7日8时50分左右

谢谢你分享你的故事!我知道一个施虐者可以把我们的光,这是一个漫长的过程拿回我们的光。我18个月的身体上和精神上的虐待关系3年,希望我离开后,他第一次抓住我的脖子和下巴,因为滥用更糟了,他说他爱我,他会得到帮助。他的“帮助预约”不存在末我们的关系——一个女人联系我通过facebook信息说她见到他了4个月,我老了的消息。与此同时,我刚跟他出去和他一起睡。那么糟糕。

维多利亚
2018年12月30日上午10:56

关闭一个施虐者是他倾倒。另一个女人是浪费她的生活。我为他们感到难过,我曾经是她的。只有那些没有批判性思维技能会做他的肮脏的工作。这是非常悲伤的看。我知道每个人都在参与他的未来。我知道他们都是欺骗。我知道他的家庭,他们中的大多数不知道任何关于他的真实。或者他们方便忽略真相的眼睛。

香农
2018年12月4日下午3:49点

我的故事开始就像许多其他的关系。他真正感兴趣的是了解我。我们花了几个小时打电话之前,我们的第一次约会。当我们第一次接吻的,我完全被迷住了。我们彼此花了一整个星期,他从来没有提出性要求。我想每一个关系都应该开始这样。他打电话给他的母亲和朋友,告诉他们,他发现那个女人应该是他的妻子。他是忠心耿耿,作弊从未关注进一步吸引了我。我有信任问题由于在上一段关系留下自己的罪过。有迹象表明。 He made me cry after saying some very hurtful things and he wasn't apologetic. It started to decline rapidly to include drunken belligerent texts followed by an apology the next day and to tell me how much he loved me. Almost two years later and we are no longer together. It took leaving 5 times to see I deserve better and it wasn't all my fault. It went from verbal abuse to physical abuse followed by the honeymoon phase. It's a repetitive and vicious cycle. I believed in this man and there were good times. The problem is he never believed in me. I pray for healing and strength to all those who are suffering from abuse.

阿什利
8月,9点28分5 2018

哇这是一个确定的现在我的生活。我30岁。我的丈夫是32。他一直身体上、情感上和口头虐待。我们已经结婚一年半在一起只是害羞的6年。我有两个孩子我近了,我们有一个孩子在一起。我怀孕一个月后的婚礼计划。我们还没有去法院,但我提出离婚,法院设置日期。他离开我一个19岁的女孩,我们知道,我们共同的朋友的女儿的朋友。没有单词是他们已经做了很长时间,甚至在我们matried,和她是未成年人。我和孩子离开了家,搬去和我的父母。 He left the house that was his before the marriage. He moved in with the 19 year old. Things are messy. His ex filed an order of protection. He hasn't seen any of his kids in nearly 45 days and hasn't asked really about any of them. I'm scared and I'm getting help from an abuse couselor. I just feel like I need a support system.

57分在2018年8月,5点

我和我的男朋友一年,他向我展示他是谁第一个几个月但是我忽略它。我们没有生活在一起,但他希望我在他的家里。如果我想回家我家45分钟的路程,他将指责我和我的“其他”男朋友过着双重生活必须要我回家。爱的恶性循环轰炸,张力建立,然后愤怒爆发的一次又一次让我如此困惑。他会叫我的名字,同时建立自己。这些故事都是相似的,尽管我离开,回家2天前我有很多焦虑。我让他阻止我的电话但是我每隔几个小时检查我的“封锁”公司,看他离开。我甚至替几分钟疏通他的号码但是它让我身体不适所以我阻止了他。心里是赛车,我一直提醒自己所有的坏,我是多么的不开心,他对我多么随意所以我为什么把自己通过这个?我整天一直在阅读上,还没有洗澡或去改变我的睡衣。 I have read about narcissism, abuse, finding strength after abuse etc and it helps for the moment but how am I to do this everyday? I’m not saying I can’t do it I am genuinely asking how? Pushing myself to exercise or binge watch tv isn’t helping, all I keep thinking is that he is with a “her”. I know she’s going to get everything I got, the sweet and loving gestures, all of it but it doesn’t help me. I feel like to a certain extent I am brainwashed so how do you un*uck yourself? His last rage, he punched my car window because I wouldn’t open the door, he tried ripping off the door handle, when I was able to drive away I went and hid on a side street just in case he followed me. When I felt it was safe I went to the gas station and there he was coming straight at me and tried blocking me between his car and the wall. I was able to get past him and into the street where he again tried blocking me up against the center median. When the light changed I drove, he then started trying to run me off the road before damaging his car and having to pull over. Believe it or not I went back after a few days, he was coming to my house, texting or calling my adult kids and I went back to stop the madness. Funny how that didn’t make me leave but him speaking to me foul the other day did. I know it was all a build up and I needed to be mentally ready and I am because the thought of unblocking him made my stomach sick, so how do I get out of my own way? Ya I guess I want over night results but knowing this time I am not going back, him completely ignoring me, it’s a mind f*ck. Of course all of this, everything is my fault, I wouldn’t get treated like this if I “wouldn’t push his buttons” or “run my mouth”, if I cry I am whining. Just writing this is making me sick that I even got myself into this situation at 48 yrs old. Any help/advice would be welcomed. To all of you out there that have succeeded at moving on I applaud your strength and keep writing because there are a lot of us that need you.

香农
2018年12月4日下午4点

我希望你做得很好,释放自己从他的虐待。这是你做过的最困难的事情,但重要的是你做的。

Lfr
2018年8月3日凌晨8:53

我虐待丈夫两年,去为我和孩子们出去,决定不回来了。然后他发送文本,他想尝试新事物。对我来说这都是压倒性的,因为我是措手不及。他怎么敢保释吗?虽然我知道这是最好的对我和孩子,我做伤害知道他可能有一些人。我沮丧,他看着那来取笑我。我一直通过地狱,为什么我想让他想要我。我今天将会安排咨询为自己和孩子,现在我们一直恐吓了一段时间。另外,我想说,我知道我没有他好,但是我希望他想留下来。

贝基
2018年7月15日凌晨31

我只有19岁,面临伤害情感虐待我的前女友还我的年龄将近3年。他控制我,假设我和其他人当我是忠诚。我们开始的好,只要他让我做他的女朋友,他开始小事情来控制我,他希望我社交媒体,想让我给他看我穿着大学等小迹象逐渐增长,起初我还以为这是正常的,我觉得他关心我和爱我,这就是为什么他要我自己。他孤立我从朋友和总是坏名声只是因为他们曾经告诉我和他们出去。长话短说,他一直使用犯规语言对我没有任何尊重我但声称爱我和照顾我,如果我说什么伤人的哭!我失去睡眠,经常去任务思考我如何让我的年轻自我经历这些,现在我离开了他我感到孤独和失望,我不知道为什么!我们有密切的关系,但我不开心!还有更糟糕的日子那么神。我如何克服他所以我可以再次找到我的幸福吗?

贝基
2018年7月15日凌晨12:33

更糟糕的日子那么好* * *

Lfr
2018年8月3日18点

贝基,
你怎么了?我祈祷你很好…

ceren罗伯茨
2019年5月25日下午8:53吗

嗨贝基我可以告诉你你的愈合方式从这样的严重性abbuse。你认为你不离开第四.im告诉你在打击我的精神伙伴。他称厚厚的愚蠢。他想让你嗨傻看我把你.zero情感这就是他们无法感觉.honestly 10年四世在他2美丽的婴儿当他对我说爱你我当面嘲笑他称他是可怜的人,你不能医治他们当他踢我的儿子我13岁。我知道他没打电话只是名字,实际上是在同一屋檐下的精神病欺负,但你知道当你开始将你使你的计划今晚.Go现在不认为这么做对不对,我对他说我向你保证你永远不会再伤害我?今天下午他说你有什么选择.stand不断让我打击你,直到你流血,我不认为我的儿子可以看到危险我们永不再我要见他,现在因为我有备份从一个男人打电话给他告诉他滚蛋防范。如果他想让他的生活.dont愚蠢离开.calling我今早摩伊简介我的愤怒,我让他明白他在做什么对我来说,不损坏受损扭曲我的新人有一个看房子现在因为他现在知道,我不想让他升级的危险。他没有其他松散,你真的相信人类.clearly不是。我对自己说我要阻止这个,所以现在还有谁笑。他会得到应有的报应.hell吓坏了。好他需要感到害怕

匿名
2018年5月,16日下午17点吗

我是一个被滥用后的第一任妻子。他在2010年中风,他们于2011年离婚。在他的推动下,我们在2016年结婚。婚礼的10天内,开始滥用。16个月后我离开了他。我之前离开了多次,一次4周,相信他的承诺改变。他会乱骂,叫我名字,威胁,告诉我去他家的“F”,等等,然后第二天早上很惊讶,我很生气或者像声称这一切都没有发生。我记录一个事件在婚姻期间,几个电话后分离。我已经申请离婚。在我的国家,是离婚理由的情感和辱骂,以及欺诈诱因结婚。 With the recordings I have, we (attorney and I) are planning to amend our petition to include causes of action for fraud in the inducement and damages . I cannot wait to play the recording of his cussing me out to our female judge and jury. Ladies, ask your lawyer about separate causes of action for damages from fraud -- especially if they have abused before and conned you with their innocence. I have a great paper trail of evidence showing how he took of advantage of me financially and then threatened me if I didn't write him an "f-ing" check on the recording.

匿名
2018年5月15日13点

当孩子和监护权是等式的一部分吗?有很大担心滥用,我有经验,我的孩子目睹将再次体验了与新伙伴。你的想法是什么?

安娜
2018年5月,13日凌晨29吗

3周前,我儿子的父亲离开了我,和别人。我和他在一起2年了,我们的关系是有毒的。他会打我,把一切都归咎于我。他bkamed我愤怒和情绪虐待我。我儿子出生后在所有的时候我们的压力水平高所以我明白为什么他总是紧张但是我一直告诉我自己,我从来没有理应受到一个男人。他没有联系我或者我的9个月大的儿子自从分裂,它让我想知道我为什么他是如此的悲惨。在某种程度上看到他继续伤害那么糟糕但我认为他永远不会改变。当我想到我们的关系,改变只是暂时离开了他无数次。一个爱你的人永远不会想伤害你。他们会确保你的安全,我意识到,但现在我剩下emptyness的感觉。 While I am a single mother who does anything for her child hes in the arms of another woman as if I meant absolutely nothing to him. What truly kills me is that he could care less about his son and how this will affect him in the long run.

瑞秋
2018年6月23日下午8:09点

昨天我正式离开我第二次和第一次一样的女人。我们已经在一起8年了。他没有身体上的虐待我,直到去年尽管之前有情感和辱骂。我学习他是自恋的,互相依存的。他想搬到另一个状态,我愚蠢的用大的想法,我们的生活将变得更好。他们做了一段时间。我有一个好工作,我们经济状况良好。当他开始的事情。这已经持续了一年,在我们之间来回。她是一个非常恶心的意思是女孩她的自我。 We do share a child and his dad is his best friend. I lost my job due to him making me late to often with all the chaos and drama. He took all our money literally which was from a title loan and ran off with her and didnt say a word. The only words I got yesterday were "the money is gone leave me alone." He does abuse her and has from the start. They both munipulate the situation and i am the one that gets dragged through there fights because thats when he comes home. As wrong as this is and believe me when i say I know it is, I feel devestated, alone and in somewhat of a panic. The worst part is I still love his despite it all because there is something psychologically wrong with me to justify this and want him home. I know that i am better off with out him in all ways and i dont feel that I am afraid to be alone because the majority of the time he isn't around any way. But I do find my self wondering what makes her better or why i am not good enough? And all the rest of the feelings and patterns of the abuse, narcissism and co-dependancy. I know very well that i am going through the process of all the feelings and the desperate feeling of needing him home and he is out enjoying life with out a worry having a great time like we do not exist. He isn't allowed to take my son with her because their relationship is more toxic then our and she is a time bomb her self. Once the desperate and loniless subsides I start self care and healing and thats when is waltz through the door or as soon as their next argument. All the work and emotions and everything else i did just to be somewhat ok, as in able to get out of bed and face the world again goes right out the window. I am the moth to his flame and become powerless over my own self. I fear the day he knocks on that door because I know my self enough to know that I melt and completely fall apart. He either gradually wheins his way back or just all at once convincing me that he loves me knowing that I truly do love him unconditionally. Despite being intelligent enough to know the signs and patterns here I am back to the begining of the hell i have allowed my self to live through for the last year wondering why and all the rest. I even convince my self that this is really it this time he doesnt want me and left me for good and feel devastated even knowing the pattern. I lay here wondering how i can be so smart yet so stupid at once? In addition to having no self-worth at all and that comes way before him.....

Lfr
2018年8月3日下午17点

瑞秋,
我开始不联系! ! !我一直通过铃声所有类型的虐待,这一次是吧!我改变了我的号码,封锁了所有的电子邮件,我没有联系。是的,我的一部分让我感觉,我想要他回来,但我知道他伤害了我比我现在感觉更糟。同时,我知道这将是暂时的。我在城市称为本地热线和将开始咨询为自己和孩子,他恐吓。我希望你最好的!

Lfr
2018年8月3日下午09分

安娜,我处理类似的事情,但我决定打掉孩子,不敢对他的承诺。这对我来说很困难,但是在怀孕期间被滥用推我。我现在独自一人,我应该已经离开了。我很抱歉,你和你的孩子要经历这个。我真的觉得你当你说空虚的感觉。我的上帝,的确让我彻夜难眠。我经常提醒我自己,我不值得,你不。

阿比
2017年11月12日凌晨40

我是一个虐待男朋友了五年。我和他分手了,我们分开了7个月。他有3/4月关系,时间跨度;他和她在我走出医院试图自杀,后假装他关心我。我现在跟他回来了。他告诉我,他永远不会把一只手放在她的,我相信。我能知道他在撒谎。嗯,那天晚上他推我。然后第二天又推我。因为我是开放的伤口。 Wounds from him in the past and wounds from the relationship he was in. She had two kids and he never touched them either. He went around playing baby daddy. I’m trying to let these wounds heal. To let go of the past that I cannot control as to not ruin my present and future that I can control. But every time I tell myself to let go, there’s nothing I can do, I still think about: why me and not her? I’ve read that it could be because she was stronger and he thought she wouldn’t put up with it. So does he see me as weak? I just don’t know why it’s me and not her. I thought it was me and not her because I thought he stopped the abuse completely, but I can see that’s not true. I know that I am doing better for myself than her. She’s an alcoholic at 18 and has two kids whom share a tiny bed and live in a trailer with 6 other people. So why am I getting hung up that she’s stronger? I’ve made it out of everything that’s hurt me so far and I’m doing really well at college and in my job. So why me and not her? Does he think she’s stronger, even if he says he hates her and never wants to see her again? Does he resent me for not being strong and that’s why I’m blamed? I’m sorry if these turned into rambling or didn’t make much sense. I’m just very confused right now

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2017年11月14日上午9点

阿比,你有5年+与这个人的关系。他约会其他女人只有几个月。他虐待大自然不保存你因为你的性格缺陷,他只是没有得到这一点与其他女人,因为他们的关系是新的。(即使这是真的,他可能会伤害她,骗了你,因为他知道这会影响你。)我知道我去过任何关系,最初几个月,每个人都对他们最好的行为,这是蜜月期,当我们都是虚假广告。我真的认为他撒谎伤害你,因为他知道,否则他绝对会成为虐待其他女人,他只是还没有。我真的希望你能让自己变成一个更好的情况下,你应该得到更好的生活,对待爱和尊重。挂在那里的女孩,请随时联系。艾米丽

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阿什利
2018年5月,24日凌晨8:18吗

你直接问她如果他伤害她虽然. .能保证我的经历后. .他是. .或者她没有足够连接。你需要记住你一个强大的女人。他的损失不是你的。

2017年11月5日下午5:34点

凯利,我真的很喜欢这篇文章!非常relate-able和发人深省的,伟大的见解……非常感谢伟大的阅读。艾米丽

2017年11月13日凌晨跑完

同意,凯莉。这篇文章是如此的个人和深刻的和真的引起了我的共鸣,以至于它让我感动的流泪。你这样的灵感。x

西蒙
2017年5月8日上午11吗

所以我离开了我的前女友伙伴在去年在一个令人难以置信的有毒了四年的关系。她带来了债务和情感包袱的关系。我是一个快乐、护理免费34岁时我第一次见到她。早期预警信号有令人难以置信的,我应该听我的直觉。之前我遇见她,如果我没有文本她早上好她会生气。快进。我们现在有一个四岁的儿子在一起,我很喜欢。他是我的整个世界,每个人都告诉我我是一个伟大的爸爸,我认为我是。总而言之我的前任伴侣我叫朱迪思,她拒绝让我继续我的生活。如果我试着摆脱她使用我的儿子来报复我,威胁要停止偿还她欠我的钱,她现在已经停止所有在一起。 She hacks into my personal email account and social media profiles, which she deems acceptable. On the surface she puts on this front of being a hardworking mum of two, who's struggling against the odds, when in reality all she does is take take take. She's taken nearly 12Thousand pounds off me even though she's been earning nearly 15 thousand pounds more than me for the last few years. Her ex partner left her with a mountain of debt and even though I helped her clear most of it she's happy to leave me in debt for thousands of pounds, while she walks away Scot free. I think her problems stemmed from the fact she was emotionally abused by her parents when she was younger, and she now cant form an opinion of her own or do anything without the approval of her parents even though she's 41. She has two children to two different men and has been largely criticized and judged by her family, which only adds to her emotional baggage. All her siblings and cousins are happily married, with good jobs and homes they own, whereas Judith struggles with money and scours internet dating sites like tinder and plenty of fish, trying to find her next 'saviour'. Her first borns father is actually gay now (I promise I'm not making this up lol). He was forced out of the relationship and actually walked away from dating women forever, largely down to her behaviour which is incredibly embarrassing for her. Knowing people are sniggering at her behind her back must only add to her torment. I walked away from the relationship last September when she assaulted me in front of our young son. She's always played on being the victim so to see her act this way was truly shocking. However her default setting is to lie about what happened and twist it so she looks like the victim, due to the fact she doesn't want people to know what she's really like. In recent weeks she's driven me to breaking point, but with the support of my family and friends I'm getting myself back on track. She puts on the front she's been there for me, but even when I was in my hospital bed she was provoking me and trying to cause rows. Seeing how popular I am and how many friends I have brings her so much jealousy and only highlights how miserable she is inside. However, I'm having no contact with her whatsoever, which has felt like a huge weight lifted off my shoulder. Her greatest fear is that I'll move on from her and find happiness, which is exactly what I'll do, I know I will. Her boys will grow up and lead their own lives and I'll have a relationship with my son without needing to see her anymore, and she'll grow old and lonely and bitter and angry at the world all on her own, and it'll be spectacular!! I'm a big believer in karma, and the fact she's so angry with the world and blaming everyone else for the way her life's turned out is so amusing. She's manipulative, controlling and bitter and with such ugly qualities I can only see a dark and unhappy future ahead of her. No doubt I'll get the blame for her misery lol. Things are looking very optimistic for me on several different levels. The futures bright and I'm feeling happier than I ever have been.

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Jh
2017年11月5日下午4:08点

西蒙,她不让她以前的丈夫
成为“同性恋”。他是同性恋。(主持)

弥勒
2015年12月4日上午8:54

所以我离开了我的前女友和他几个月前,只有一年。我们经历了很多在这一年,我流产的时候,我想我真的很喜欢他,他显得那么完美。我喜欢被爱的感觉,希望他让我觉得……但他的真面目开始显示,他不会停止不尊重我,指责我,穿过我的电话但我100%开放和诚实的和忠诚的,从来没有机会经历他的电话…我总是告诉我是多么美丽,我是一个优秀的女人,即使我很痛苦我还是忠于他…我不能理解为什么他对我如何…或者这是我的错……不久我离开他,我发现他已经看到另一个女孩…现在我知道看起来并不是一切,但当我看到她时我笑了……他怎么能贸易一个女人长得很像我和忠于他和对他从诚实开始……他为什么不追我或改变或试图使其工作……然后我意识到我真的做出正确的选择……我没有新女孩,因为她的问题不是问题……他是。我试图攻击他的社交媒体帐户虽然我很高兴没有……我只是需要某种形式的关闭我猜……现在它令人困惑的是,我见过的人我真的联系而是因为我已经通过我的努力完全让他们……我怀疑我用恰当的词语,最有可能没有正确解释这些但是的。

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匿名
2018年5月15日11:01

哦,女孩,我可以自然的联系起来!不幸的是!我的丈夫对他的电话也非常神秘。我与他差不多有十年了,从来没有欺骗他,当我离开时我发现他有其他几个女孩。当我第一次见到他的新女孩我也笑了,上帝原谅我,但是我想,“你怎么给CardiB留詹妮弗·洛佩兹吗?”(我'm a big JLo fan!) I however, have a lot of issues with his new disrespectful girlfriend. My husband did, however, try to make it work but I had already come to the realization that I didn't know that man and chose to love myself so the abuse became more blatant with threats. Us girls always need closure and sometimes we don't get it and it's tough. The best thing I can say to that is - the best way to get away from a snake is to rise above - be the best version of you that you can be and love yourself, putting God first of course. I'm in the same situation with my new boyfriend - struggling to fully let him in. He is such an angel though and is so patient and caring with me. My biggest concern now is that his love and patience doesn't have an expiration date since I can't determine when I will be healed, if ever. I know that random things my trigger certain emotions even later on and I hope he can be patient with me.

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Pt
2018年5月,17日下午53秒

你多久和他如果我可以问吗?之前,他开始改变?

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阿什利
2018年5月,24日的外航吗

我在相同的位置。我和你的故事产生共鸣。他做了我两次严重的成绩。它很难感到挫败感在他们攻击你的外表,你的个性,告诉我我的子宫可能是烂儿童无论如何,会发现一个年轻的女人。我没有老。试图警告她但sass,回来让我知道他钩住她。没有告诉我她是一个胖,然后告诉她,他只是说,显然平静的我,因为我认为她是一个威胁。如何一个女人可以让一个男人将她放下来拯救另一个女人的感情,对他还在不在我。我们必须记住我们没有失去他们。我们摆脱他们。 He started a relationship with her publicly before ending anything with me and was still asking why i couldnt love him a week after getting in a relationship. Only came on fb to make it public with her which is exactly what he did a year ago with another woman. Now he just looks crazy. Ran in to him in person and begged me to talk even though every text is "i dont want to talk to you ever again" He is her problem now. It will hurt from day to day but eventually he will tell her what he told me "im sorry,i tried to hide it as long as i could". And i will feel no sympathy for her.

阿什利
2018年5月,24日14点吗

添加到. .自杀的威胁。我感到孤立,他打了我的恐惧,我的表弟killee自己。跟其他一些练习,尽管他只告诉我,我开车送他到. .原来他是我们所有人。有人甚至只有2个月后。巨大的心理问题。

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假的名字
2019年1月14日下午3:47点

让我开始说我想我找到我最好的朋友我丈夫一个男人我的孩子也可以查找我们一起度过每一天醒来,睡觉一起去教堂祈祷收集到一个人,开始改变快9个月一起告诉他我的孩子父亲小姐对我他打在我胸口窒息我不能呼吸想罗女士带我工作和开车直接通过我们在湖大一个没有任何一个在他身边接我我砰地摔在玻璃桌子带我去他的最好的朋友的房子,这样她可以战斗我告诉他我只废弃的房子他锁了门,开始在上面,打在我的脸上,直到我跳下,跑跳。上,开始拉我的头发。,把我的脸弄脏一开始我没有看到这个,有趣的是导致他的BMI试图警告我了我还以为是她是嫉妒我还与他做爱,但是他打破了她的肋骨和鼻子像这个男人是魔鬼他的母亲告诉我,我不能帮助你,你没有我生病,像他这样的人不改变,但是神的恩典我跑,跑在他攻击我的fb偷了我的手机我丢了工作的他,但我没有回头

Cherylzart
2014年8月25日上午比赛

很高兴你摆脱他。马上的人声称自己是爱上你,想要嫁给你。在之后的关系,显示所有虐待的迹象和循环让你感觉喜欢一个人没有人会结婚,甚至还告诉你或你的母亲,他stll爱你,想嫁给你,因为他可以治愈你即使你已经学会变得害怕他aoley想让你进他的受害者,因为他是一个施虐者和殴打者这是一种犯罪。他甚至想要我弯腰阳台栏杆从后面和我做爱。他贬低,breated我无故或突然发生的原因。他威胁要伤害或杀死我的狗。
现在,如果一个人太强势起初或降低我先提出指控不真实,试图欺骗或伤害我,我不会说什么,运行的头也不回背朝她。

Cherylzart
2014年8月25日上午3:07

阅读大部分的评论部分。Gynger的评论她两年前的关系对我来说是有趣的,因为事实是这些类型的人并不像他们试图声音特别因为它们降解并口头攻击他们的伴侣的人。我没有娶我的施虐者。他来和我住,我的妈妈。他威胁要伤害我的狗,不断贬低我,指责我的表演完全不同ly在我妈妈面前。她完全迷住了他。我在研究生院,他一直告诉我我并不适合这个职业。他还批评我对我目前的能力作为一个老师,他一无所知。他会叫醒我让我的睡眠,因为他想要秒或者他会否认性如果他试图避开我。如果我切断他或更好? break off with him; which I did many times, he'd come on gradually with showing affection and once again asking me to marry him even after he had called the police on me trying to get back at him for breaking up with him as well as making false claims against me. I finally kicked him out and made sure he had a place to stay as my mother helped out financially to get him back on his feet since he came to live with us because he had been laid off from his job because the business folded. However, get this, he blamed me for losing his job because I called his workplace just because he had texted me he and other employees were told in a meeting that they all were being laid off. He has a defibrillator in his heart, and I was worried he'd have a stroke! That's why I called him at work because he didn't respond back after I asked him to tell me ifhe was aalright! He actually did get a job that week. He was offered two jobs; one from his former boss. He lied all the time. He manipulatated me in every capacity to find a way to entrap me into a more committed relationship with him so he could do further harm to me. Whatever it takes to get you hooked; marriage or live in relationship, they'll do it before you really see the darkest side of them. This guy is very well educated and extremely organized person and smart. He has a business degree in finance and has been in management jobs for years. He even ran for President one time, but didn't make in to the final primaries. He also had been in Special Forces in the army. He became an Ordained minister which he had received his doctorate in divinity. All these things are true about him. I did a pretty through check on his background. However, he's had numerous duis and several arrests for domestic violence. Now you tell me something? You think that this man would have changed by now knowing he has been counseled, an official Secretary for AA meetings; an Ordained minister which specialized in marriage and family counseling learn Not to be an abuser and who should have resolved his substance abuse issues along with his past of being abused by his father and abandoned by his mother once when he was 3 years old because she was abandoned by his birth father and had to split her 5 children up to live with her relatives temporarily until she was able to get them back and a home where they all could be together again?
我妈妈给他钱和照顾他的费用,他说他会还她的钱。我给了他钱,尽管我不是财务能够支持或帮助他完全像我母亲,只有把更多的羞愧和内疚因为我贫穷的母亲卷入这一切混乱。当他说他终于找到了一份工作,他答应给我妈妈和将支付她回电话。他没有和我恳求,警告她不要打电话给他了。让他打电话给她,但也警告她,他不会这样做。现在。。她的伤害. .感觉使用和失望。是的……图。 I'm sure he quickly moved on to another victim and found out that he left for the job he wanted in another state. Good. I did what my friends and family told me to do which was to go to the sheriff's department to report his abusive treatment and prevent him from further abuse by following up with a possible restraint order on him. The last thing he said to my mom was he loved me and wanted to marry me because he could cure me snd straighten more out. He did everything he could to destroy me as a person and make me out to be what he was and convince my mom that I had lost my mind and that he of all people could heal me.
他们的魅力你让你感觉你是最重要的,很棒的人。他也宣称他爱我从一开始就想马上嫁给我。他让自己听起来像,甚至我们共享的共同之处,让我们看起来像一个很好的匹配作为夫妻都是真实的。麻烦的是,他是一名罪犯。犯罪是一个施虐者甚至殴打者多于一个的时间。他是一个病人,但他该死的知道什么是道德上的对错。他是最清楚他的虐待方式,但拒绝考虑他虐待或其他负责oe可以显示字符和力量需要应对或处理生活的压力没有女人打倒。

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娜塔莉
2017年8月17日上午11:42

美丽的话语完全放

克里
2013年9月16日下午3:47点

哇,所以需要读这篇文章的时候,谢谢!

酱汁
2013年2月27日上午2小时37分跑完

我喜欢这个!这是思考……为什么我可以因为他的坏行为,但我不能,因为“他爱我,对我很好……绝对重组的东西在我的脑海里

凯利
2013年1月26日23点

吸引和蜜月阶段是最危险的关系。这是在欺骗和操纵的最高水平。操纵却滥用在早期我们认为这是“我们为之倾心的人。”This fast moving charmer wants us bonded to him/her as soon as possible before we see who he/she really is. This is why survivors have an incredibly difficult time getting out. They remember that phase and they remember the sweet cycles and they remember the promises to change that lasted a couple of months at best. An abuser who wants to change needs therapy and a hell of a long time to work through his crap. Abusers enjoy their abuse, it is rewarding to them. Psychopathic and narcissist abusers are rewarded by the harm they cause.
我们因为我们想要相信最初的陈述,而失去年,被滥用。我们将移情到没有这个人。
遗憾的,缺乏同情心。缺乏同情心是一个施虐者的迹象。缺乏悔恨,缺乏罪恶感。如果你问某人停止在任何方式伤害你,他们继续伤害你,你肯定是在存在病理障碍。你不能改变它,但是你可以让它为你的变化。不要给了你的光,这是黑暗,没有良心…

紫罗兰色的
2012年11月8日上午7点46分

我的小更新……
我们有一个巨大的大约一个半月前坐下。我知道这是太早告诉但我的伙伴看到多少我伤害的关系,我看到巨大的变化在他和我自己。我们都试着为对方做更多,这意味着有更多的妥协。我要更多和做我自己的事情,我们已经开始重建我们的关系,这一次在一个基础的尊重。我希望事情继续这样,我对未来充满希望。我看到现在有事情我可能完成延续的情况。不是找借口,只是意识到我自己有许多缺点。因为我选择留下来我要给它100%,只要我的伙伴做了同样的事情,我能做的就是希望:-)

Gynger
2012年10月9日凌晨1点

我知道我X,魔术师,会马上找我离开后,继续前进,忘记我,这是可怕的足够我仍然认为我需要他。我也认为他能继续但他从来没有爱一个人喜欢我。我是他的灵魂伴侣,我们是在一起。我仍然觉得我是最好的女人。但如果(? !)他发现别人和她让他快乐,他没有虐待她吗?如果这一切真的是我的错,我一直在欺骗自己。毕竟,他告诉我我是一文不值,每天一个负担。
当他移动如此之快,然后娶了她很快我很伤心(因为他向我求婚了,但从来没有通过)和类型的人我很震惊她……(是的,我知道,我现在标签)吸毒者,酒鬼,pill-poppin,阴沟里的老鼠,假牙穿着穿着垃圾拖车荡妇。(这是我搞砸了的思维方式)
我发现通过共同的熟人,他虐待她了但是她做了一件我从未....她在监狱把他糟糕的虐待的屁股!我意识到即使她没有过生活,我会选择她的东西我没有,这是立场和反击的力量。她确定他不会虐待她,因为我很感激她!

紫罗兰色的
2012年10月8日上午4:56

对不起,输入错误!“我们回到蜜月期。”我want everyone to know how helpful these posts have been. I don't feel so alone.

紫罗兰色的
2012年10月8日凌晨4:55

20年来我不敢回头看,说同样的事情。但我不知道是什么阻止我去?更好的事情。但这种情况;我们何回到蜜月阶段,然后,当我得到舒适,打击美元的粉丝。但我吸回…也许这次的情况是不同的。也许这一次他足够爱我对我好。整个在我这样生我自己的气。

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