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I have bipolar disorder, and I never ghost people. "Ghosting" is a slang term for when someone cuts off all communication. Some people may doubt that I don't ghost people based on my bipolar diagnosis; however, believe me, I am not a "ghoster." Moreover, I'm not the only one. Just because a person has bipolar doesn't mean they will ghost you.
Each year, as the calendar flips to November, I'm hit with a reminder of how complex the holiday season feels in eating disorder recovery. Of course, that's not unique to those with a history of eating disorders. This time of year can be overwhelming for anyone. In 2021, three out of five surveyed Americans felt their mental health worsen over the holidays, with 60 percent noticing a rise in anxiety, and 52 percent noticing a rise in depression. Now couple all that with eating disorder stressors or behaviors, and this hectic season can become even more fraught. So with the 2022 festivities just around the corner, let's acknowledge it: The holidays are complex in eating disorder recovery—and that is alright.
每个人都能感觉到啊verwhelmed from time to time. Whether problems are work-related, home-related, or down to matters quite unrelated, modern living can tax us physically and emotionally. And, while feelings of overwhelm aren't the sole preserve of people with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), emotional dysregulation can act as an antagonist for me - especially when it comes to dealing with modern challenges.
We are right on the verge of Thanksgiving and the holiday season. It’s such a great time to reflect, not only on just the year overall but also on how my ability to cope with my anxiety has progressed. A helpful strategy that I’ve really taken the time to focus on this year has been practicing gratitude and how it has helped me manage my anxiety levels.
In August 2021, after watching my performance deteriorate for months, I decided to quit my full-time government job to deal with burnout and take care of my mental health. Living alone in a basement apartment during the pandemic had made my depression and anxiety worse, and I'd been finding my job increasingly stressful. Leaving without another job lined up was risky, but I felt I had no choice. I'd reached my limit.
This isn't one of those stock Thanksgiving blogicles where I waste half-a-thousand words tossing around washed up phrases about how "gratitude is an attitude." It's much worse than that. I'm going to try to challenge your notion of gratitude altogether. I know I said early on in my HealthyPlace journey that I wasn't going to try to convince anyone of anything, but we all knew I was lying. So let me be explicit about this: I want you to leave this post believing that gratitude isn't just for the things in your life that are working. I want you to walk away feeling grateful for the things in your life that aren't.
从自残并不容易得到清洁,当you're in a dark place, just trying to get better can seem like too much effort for too unlikely a reward. But the work to recover from self-harm is worthwhile—I promise.
Facing verbal abuse can be traumatic for anyone, especially when it continues for years, like in my experience. After existing in a world that includes regular abusive treatment, it can be difficult to see past your own painful situation.
When I was a young woman, before my first psychotic episode, I was incredibly independent. I frequently traveled internationally to Egypt and Brazil to visit my parents, who worked overseas. I also took road trips from Seattle to as far as San Diego by myself. Those days of independence are long gone. As someone with a severe mental illness, I need to connect and rely on people more than I ever imagined, but though I have schizophrenia, I am not a burden.
冲突和焦虑是一种的结合significant issue for me. We've all had to make that dreaded call to customer service to report an issue. Something has gone wrong, so you're already ticked off, but you do your best to proceed politely. Or, at least, I do. Most times, the issue is resolved quickly and with minimal upset. But then there's that one frustrating experience where nothing goes right, and the resolutions are unacceptable, which triggers so much anxiety that you feel you'll either explode or simply shut down.
首先,我想鼓掌you for reaching out and trying to get some support here. It's a good response to what sounds like a stressful situation to be in.
However, while I understand why you're asking whether your actions are attention-seeking or not—I used to ask myself this a lot, too—I think the bigger concern here is that you are self-harming. Regardless of whether it has anything at all to do with seeking attention (which, by the way, is actually pretty natural behavior when you're in distress), the fact is that if you're self-harming, something is wrong.
To be clear, I'm not saying that something is wrong with you intrinsically—rather, I'm saying you're going through something difficult that needs to be addressed. Self-harm is not uncommon, especially among people going through puberty—but it's not a normal or healthy response to puberty, either. Think of it as a red flag—it's your body and mind signaling that you have deeper issues you need to address.
I would strongly suggest reaching out to a therapist or other health provider if at all possible; such a person would be best equipped to help you sort through your motivations for self-harm, as well as your best options for recovery. Keep in mind that there are online options now too, if getting to a physical office would be difficult; keep in mind, too, that many telehealth and online services offer sliding scales, reduced rates, and other options if affordability is an issue. You could also join a support group, if that feels more accessible. If not, even just talking to a trusted friend or loved one—someone who knows you personally and who will be supportive—could make a big difference.
If you absolutely can't reach out to anyone at this time, you can still try some things on your own. Here are some posts that might help:
//www.5wetown.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2022/1/recovering-from-self-harm-when-to-get-self-help
//www.5wetown.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2021/9/finding-self-harm-help-books-for-your-recovery-journey
//www.5wetown.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2021/4/self-harm-psychology-tools-that-helped-me-recover
I hope that helps. If you have more questions or concerns you'd like to share, feel free to reply here or elsewhere on the blog. I'll be around.
Take care,
Kim
I'm sorry to hear about your struggles and that you feel unsupported by your dad. It's not easy when someone in your life, especially someone so central to your life, doesn't understand and makes things worse (even if unintentionally). I'd like to believe that he thinks he's helping you with "tough love," but of course, I don't know that for sure. Have you spoken with your counselor about this issue? A neutral third party like your counselor could be an ideal person to mediate between you and your father—or at the very least, they should be able to help you communicate your needs to him, if possible, or cope with his lack of support if not.
As for covering your scars, I completely understand your reasons why you would. I've written a few posts about this that might help:
//www.5wetown.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2021/7/self-harm-scar-cover-up-options-that-work
//www.5wetown.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2022/3/hiding-self-harm-scars-in-swimsuit-season
I hope you find some helpful ideas there. Let me know if you have more questions or concerns you'd like to share; I'll be reading.
Sincerely,
Kim
Maybe when you were young, the alcohol served some kind of a purpose to your younger self in however a dysfunctional way - maybe that young person was trying to self-medicate, or trying to be popular. But it’s OK now not to do that anymore. You’re older now and stronger in the world. You can give yourself permission to stop now.
I wish you all the very best in your health and happiness, and in the way ahead.
Since I found what you've experienced so relatable, I'd like to offer you my email (not the personal one, don't worry) in case you'd like to talk about this a little more (I certainly would). If you do, I'd recommend not using the personal email either; so any risk is avoided. If you don't want to, that's okay, really. I thank you for your comment and I thank the person responsible for this article, of course. Have a good one.
My (not-personal) email: andresdenoir@gmail.com
I'm sorry to hear you are going through that. Unfortunately, I am not a therapist, and I don't feel qualified to advise you on what to do next in your relationship. I do advise talking to a therapist, though. They will be able to get all the details about the situation and help you much more than I can.
Good luck. You can do this.