从后视镜反射

在过去的放手

“一些人认为这是使人强大。有时候放手。”

西尔维亚•罗宾逊

生活信

我在缅因州北部长大,夏天很短哦,如此甜美,和冬天既漫长又经常无情。我最珍贵的童年记忆的许多包含图像的护理免费下午Madawaska湖的岸边,和我的脸向上倾斜向北方的天空,我的脚悬空的酷,清水,让海浪运动的研磨与码头,阳光在我的皮肤上。在回顾,它发生,虽然我珍视的柔和的6个月,7月,8月,我经常无法充分享受其中的乐趣。经常关注我害怕冬天的回报,我未能完全拥抱属于我的美丽和自由的黄金时代一去不复返。我记得,现在我想知道多长时间在我们面前溜走的礼物我们的重点我们不假思索地拒绝,担心什么是我们无法控制的,或焦急地盯着后视镜windows,抓住过去,现在我们到达,再也无法改变。

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继续下面的故事

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我以前认识一个女人,她的童年是闹鬼的预言厄运,因此,她花了她的生活感到害怕。她不停地张望,寻找紧急出口,等待“意外变化的光。”While she was able to acknowledge that she had enjoyed a successful career, a loving family, a hefty savings account, countless contingency plans, and a clean bill of health, she also observed that she had lived in almost continuous dread and fear. It was not until the years that stretched behind her far exceeded the ones that still remained that it occurred to her that perhaps her primary task on earth was to learn as much as she possibly could from her time here, and that her major life lesson was to learn to trust in life itself. She would need to trust that each of her experiences (even the painful ones) offered her important lessons, and further, that often the ultimate value and quality of an experience is in direct proportion to what we do with it. In order for her to live fully and learn from her present, she concluded that she would need to let go of the pain from her past.

雷切尔·内奥米·雷曼,我最喜欢的一个作者和治疗师,承认俄罗斯移民的孩子,她不是一个家庭的事容易,分开,她相信,如果她长大的任何有价值的东西,其结果将是一个永久的洞。因此,她打趣道,“东西我放开了爪痕。”I knew all too well what Remen meant. For much of my life I held on fiercely to everything, afraid of finding myself vulnerable somehow or suddenly empty handed, I deprived myself of numerous gifts and opportunities. Believe me, it's not at all easy to take hold of what's before you with clenched fists.

在“生活的挑战开始”·雷曼讲述了她令人惊讶的反应,她失去了一些很有价值的一天,和第一次在她的生活,她回应的损失感到一种好奇心和冒险观察,“我以前从不信任生活……我不惜一切代价避免了损失,就像我的家人。这是一个非常重要的起始步:进入一个新的关系未知,未知的不同,神秘,可能性,是我们走向不远离,给我们增加了别人的东西,甚至怀疑。”

我怀疑,对于大多数人来说,我们必须首先遇到然后摆脱痛苦的和不自觉的损失之前我们可以开始明白放手不必简单地放弃。相反,它是关于拥抱,因为它是关于释放。在放手的不再是我们,我们免费去”到“,向支撑和演化培育我们的福祉和发展。在放开不再工作,我们做什么。

我不记得一次在我的生活中当放手我真的在乎的东西没有一个痛苦的过程,它需要不止一次的提醒我自己,我永远不是完全失去我发布。你看,我学到一件事在我的旅行地的损失和恢复是很少真正的失去了。我慢慢地来欣赏,而不是让我两手空空,什么在我面前无疑会提供我(如果我允许它)工具来促进我的所有,我希望有一天成为。虽然我不是一个擅长处理损失和放手,我学会了聊以自慰的事实,我们每个人的经验可以教我们,即使是那些伤口为我们的灵魂,我们可以转化为食物和燃料为我们的旅程如果我们愿意收获它们。

下一个:生活的信件:一个科学家的灵魂