性侵犯,强奸幸存者的故事

”说话……慢慢地释放我从我感到的羞愧。我越挣扎着说,权力强奸及其后果似乎在我”——南希Venable雷恩

1998年5月10日,我走进我最好的朋友的商店,就像我每隔一天做一次。我的朋友劳伦斯的表妹,Ziyad,在那里。我从来没有见过他。我在店里帮忙,这是没什么大不了的,我每隔一天。我妈妈也在那里工作,但她没有。我还是一个无辜的小13岁女孩,我基本上对性一无所知,我从来没有想到我能强奸。我总是说“这永远不会发生在我身上。”But it did. And to this day, I live with the regrets that I thought nothing like that could ever happen to me.

我在做现金出纳机,这是一个星期天,所以酒销售直到中午才开始。劳伦斯和Ziyad坐在办公室直到中午酒的销售开始,然后劳伦斯和我交易的地方。最长的时间Ziyad和我坐在办公室聊天,互相了解。我们谈论的人,体育,汽车,只是闲聊。然后他开始对我的评论。感觉很不舒服,我去了劳伦斯的收银机。我没有告诉他关于他的表妹。现在我知道我应该。

两点半,劳伦斯给我和Ziyad到后面的房间做一些工作。我回到了那里,想着我自己的事,做我的事。Ziyad抓起我的胳膊和药物我进浴室。我尖叫起来。他把这只手在我的嘴里,开始解开他的裤子。知道将要发生什么事,我愣住了。我全身麻木了。我不能移动。他完成后,他穿好衣服,走出了浴室,像什么也没发生。他离开了我和我的眼泪。 When he walked out the door, he took with him my pride, my security and my virginity. I had so many thoughts going through my mind. What if I tell someone and they don't believe me? Was it my fault? I thought Lawrence was my friend, if he was, how could his cousin do this to me? Not to mention the multiple feelings I had. Shame. Guilt. Anger. Fear. But most of all disbelief. How could this happen to me?

大约10分钟后,我走出了卫生间,过去的办公室,和收银机,劳伦斯,什么都不知道,站在。当我走过办公室时,我注意到Ziyad的表弟Firas是来接他的。当我走过时,他说,“你知道Lindsie,你是一个荡妇”。所以,这意味着Ziyad进去夸口说他“有”。

Ziyad走后,我开始哭了起来。劳伦斯不断问我“怎么了Lindsie,怎么了”?最后,我脱口而出“你表哥强奸我。”He hugged me and gently kissed my head. At first he told me not to tell anyone, later on he told me to do what I felt was right. He also said he'd always be here for me. The funny thing is, I believed him...

那天晚上我妹妹来接我。一旦我得到了她的车,我开始哭了。我告诉她发生了什么事。她告诉我我必须告诉我的父母。我不想。她做到了。我的全家都哭了…我的父母……我的二兄弟. .和我的妹妹。我的妈妈报了警。 After they got there and we made a police report, they took me to the hospital to have a rape kit done. We pressed charges. Later that night, they went to Ziyad's house. He told them it was consensual. I didn't want to do it. He forced me. It was RAPE!

在接下来的几天里,最后沉没在它发生,我开始完全无视我周围发生的事情。所有我想做的是坐在我的房间,听收音机那么大声我甚至不能听到自己的呼吸。我不得不去警察局更多质疑。通过参观警察局,并调用与官处理我的情况,我发现Ziyad曾告诉一个不同的故事很多次了。这是两厢情愿的。我给他口交。我给他口交,然后与他发生性关系。我强迫他。与不同的故事,难道你不认为这将使它明显,他干的?我的意思是,他甚至不能让他的故事。 It wasn't. The police took my case to the state prosecutor before the rape kit results came back. They said there wasn't enough evidence to prosecute and dropped my case just like that. Too bad they didn't have all the evidence yet! So, instead of just dropping the whole thing like nothing happened, we went about things in our own way....

劳伦斯称我家每天问如果我们能解决法院以外的钱,并问我是否仍然会帮助他。我妈妈也在那里工作,所以他问她会回来工作。我们很讨厌它。最后,我们叫来了警察,告诉他们,还把这变成一个警察报告。如果劳伦斯,他的家人,或者他的朋友们叫我的房子,他们会被逮捕。然后我们开始我们的民事案件。我们目前的过程中。我们起诉存储和Ziyad。我几个月前沉积,由于被告有权在房间里,Ziyad在那里。我必须详细描述对我所作的,他坐在那里笑。 Since I'm a minor, my parents had to be in the room with me. Ziyad was staring at my dad, laughing, and the whole time we were in the room, Ziyad had a smile on his face. My dad couldn't take it any more. He had his fists ready when Ziyad's lawyer made us take a break. During the break, they realized that Ziyad wasn't making things any easier for me, and they made him leave. Our court date is September 21.

我现在在咨询一个星期2次,我抑郁的药。晚上我不能入睡没有电视。我已经给自己的溃疡担心这么多。我知道事情会好转的,最终我将能够再次过上正常的生活,但是现在它是困难的。很努力。

- - - - - -Lindsie